Let’s face it. We all die alone. At this stage of a global pandemic, whether you’re gritting your teeth through quarantine with a mate or relieved to have had the extended “me time,” there’s one thing this has all proven for sure: coffee is your most important love relationship right now.

But how do you prefer your brewing method of choice demonstrates that abiding, caffeinated love to you? We see you, and we’ve helped break it all down in the following guide that dares to ask, What Is Your Coffee Brewing Love Language?


My Brewing Love Language: Words of Affirmation
The Bonavita Brewer

It’s important to you to feel great at everything, and in fact it’s important that you feel that way every day. A trusty Bonavita coffee brewer will provide near-effortless validation of your coffee-making skills each morning, rewarding you with a cup that says “You did this. You made this great coffee because you’re great, period. I helped you make it, because I love you.”

My Brewing Love Language: Acts of Service
The Syphon

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Is there any greater act of service (to yourself) than the enacting arcane and numerous steps required to bring a pot of syphon coffee to fruition? It’s work enough just to dig the damn thing out from under the counter, much less find the filter and clean it—and that’s all before you’ve even ground coffee. Igniting that spark, turning up the burner, risking a house fire: it’s a perfect allegory for coffee’s exciting, eternally burning love for you. So long as you don’t run out of butane, of course. You did buy butane, right?

Instant Coffee

My Brewing Love Language: Receiving Gifts
Instant Coffee

You want your gratification now, and you want it in dehydrated, single-origin sachets. What better way to feel great immediately every morning than brewing a coffee that asks basically nothing of you? It’s a true gift to be absolved of the time commitment and emotional labor traditional brew methods require. One day they’ll invent an instant that boils the water for you, too. Until then, specialty instant coffee packets can be your “Mr. Right Now.”

My Brewing Love Language: Quality Time

There’s nothing more affirming to a relationship than a long, slow, some might even say drawn-out period of time together, is there? For those wanting to renew their feeling of long-term commitment to coffee, the love-labors of the Chemex coffeemaker are bar none. This brew method allows not only for a beautiful presentation of a delicious coffee, it gives you considerable time to bond with the process as you carefully pour and slowly watch your love flourish, drip by drip. And so what if it’s cooled down a bit by the time you’re together again? You’re not 20 anymore.

My Brewing Love Language: Physical Touch
The AeroPress

You’re a hands-on lover, and connection to you means a literal physical connection to your brewing process. The AeroPress is the ultimate brewer for you, offering a versatile range of positions and an ultimate payoff that involves you getting right in there and getting right down. True love is always made together, no?

At the end of the day, it’s all about you! What is your coffee brewing love language? Take our steamy quiz!

Liz Clayton is the associate editor at Sprudge Media Network. Read more Liz Clayton on Sprudge

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