There must be something in the water in Hollywood. (It’s probably coffee grounds.) Last week, we brought news of Robert Downey Jr. starting his own coffee brand, the very sad Happy Coffee, accompanied by tired tropes about “baristacrats” and nonsensical musings—I still have no idea what RDJ meant by the pejorative “complicated blends.” This week, another actor is trying their hand at the business of coffee, and at least they have the good sense to not jam their whole foot down the length of their esophageal tract while promoting it. Seth Rogen, Hollywood’s lovable stoner, has created Houseplant Coffee.
“You can’t wake and bake, without first being awake.”
Coffee is the latest addition to Rogen’s Houseplant, his cannabis-focused lifestyle brand that includes things like ashtrays, vases, lighters, carrying cases, candles, vinyl, even soap. The ceramics, designed by Rogen himself in his pottery studio, are all incredibly lovely if not prohibitively expensive, as though legitimizing cannabis use can be achieved through curation and a higher price point.
And now coffee is part of Houseplant. For the new line, Rogen has teamed up with Cometeer, which is… a choice. The VC-backed frozen coffee brand that raised nearly $100 million took the specialty coffee world by storm before unexpectedly firing most of their staff, right before the holiday season no less while deciding to roll out a marketing campaign of giving away free coffee to Goldman Sachs employees.
It is unclear who is doing the actual roasting for Houseplant Coffee. Cometeer is more in the freezing business than the roasting business. There are two coffees on the brand’s inaugural offer sheet. There’s Get Roasted, the Mexican dark roast that is a “flagship blend from Central America with notes of dark chocolate, cashew, and baking spice.” And there’s the single origin Bean There Done That, a “medium roast from Aricha Adorsi, Ethiopia with notes of peach, sweet tea, and orange.
A box of 32 servings of Houseplant retails for $84, or $64 if you sign up for a subscription.
The coffee is, admittedly, the last of the Houseplant line of goods that I would consider buying. There’s better coffee for cheaper and it’s pretty much everywhere; I’m more likely to buy that fetching sake set or maybe save up for the $150 candle. But maybe you want the full, curated Seth Rogen Wake & Bake Experience, and the coffee is an integral part of that. Call me when they start selling whole bean.