Every couple of days or so at Transnational Sprudge Corp, we come across a health and science story that reads something like this:

Newsflash! Scientists have discovered that coffee helps prevent the deterioration of your octagonal reticular ventricle. Drink three cups a day to increase life expectancy.

These reports are immediately tempered by the next day’s news dregs. It’s only a matter of hours before the Sprudge News OmniNet trawls in a crustacean kelp-load that reads along these lines:

advert but first coffee cookbook now available


Newsflash! Scientists have discovered that coffee is a primary contributor to America’s 6th leading health concern: unctuous mytosis of the kidney pots. Reduce your coffee consumption drastically, lest you be smote and felled by this unspeakable fate.

Basically, there’s an ongoing glut of coffee science stories that break every single day. We usually try to avoid them. That said, when a reputable news source like ArkansasMatters.com breaks a story of this magnitude, we feel it’s our Sprudgely duty to offer up a link. From the aforementioned Razorback Moonshine Computer Doohicky Words and Stuff:

New research suggests a couple of cups of coffee a day may help some heart attack patients prevent further serious problems, if they have normal blood pressure.

A study of heart attack victims found those with normal blood pressure were 88-percent less likely to develop so-called left ventricular systolic dysfunction (LVSD), a condition in which the heart fails to pump blood effectively.

LVSD is a precursor of heart failure.

You can read the full story over at ArkansasMatters.com

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