Picture this: you’re a 60-something rock star who just finished up an intense jam sesh with your band, in which you rehearsed sonorous couplets such as ding dang dong dong deng deng dong dong ding dang. All that rocking out has you tired, but unlike others in your age cohort, a nap is not an option: you’re due courtside at the Lakers game with your 22-year-old granddaughter Brazilian supermodel girlfriend in a matter of hours. So what do you do?
Well, if you’re Anthony Keidis, lead singer of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, you grab an ice cold can of cold brew. And wouldn’t you know it, he just released his own line.
It’s called Jolene Coffee, and they produce ready-to-drink canned cold brew. According to the brand’s website, for this venture Keidis teamed up with Shane Powers of Survivor: Panama fame and John Terzian, half of the h.wood Group, “a hospitality and lifestyle marketing company.” It kind of sounds like the start of a joke: A reality TV personality, the head of a lifestyle marketing company, and a singer who has penned multiple songs about California walk into a coffee shop. It’s obviously in LA [rimshot].
And already they’ve trademarked the phrase “everything happens over coffee®,” which includes, per the website, “the ups and the downs—the most important conversations, meetings, and a great night out, to the tough discussions or heartbreaks—coffee is there for it all.” (One imagines much heartbreak is on the docket whilst dating someone 1/3rd your age)
Keidis, Powers, and Terzian have spent eight years “tinkering with the recipe to get it just right,” which is dedication and admittedly a pretty funny image. Just three Angelenos sitting around a glass of cold brew, taking slurps from a spoon and making slight adjustments to grind size, dose, blend components, and contact time. For eight years.
Currently, Jolene Coffee comes in two options: black cold brew and oat milk latte. 12 packs of 8.4oz cans are available for purchase for $32-$35 via the Jolene website.
Zac Cadwalader is the managing editor at Sprudge Media Network and a staff writer based in Dallas. Read more Zac Cadwalader on Sprudge.
