The Learning Channel will air an episode of their hit show “My Strange Addiction” about a young couple who are addicted to coffee enemas. Surprisingly enough, coffee enemas have never been discussed on What are coffee enemas, anyway?

We sat down with Wikipedia and asked it some tough questions.

Sprudge: Wikipedia, what is a coffee enema?

Wikipedia: “Coffee enemas are the enema-related procedure of inserting coffee into the anus to cleanse the rectum and large intestines. This procedure, although well documented, is considered by most medical authorities to be unproven, rash and potentially dangerous.”

Sprudge: Unproven, rash, and potentially dangerous? Wikipedia, you cite two sources that are over a decade old trapped behind paywalls. Sounds to me like you’re just a puppet for Big Pharma.

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Wikipedia: “Some proponents of alternative medicine have claimed that coffee enemas have an anti-cancer effect by “detoxifying” metabolic products of tumors. There is no medical scientific evidence to support any anti-cancer effect of coffee enemas.”

Sprudge: It sounds like you pretty much hate coffee enemas, Wikipedia. But are they dangerous?

Wikipedia: Coffee enemas can cause numerous side effects, including infections, sepsis (including campylobacter sepsis), severe electrolyte imbalance, colitis, polymicrobial enteric septicemia, proctocolitis, salmonella brain abscess and heart failure.If the coffee is inserted too quickly or is too hot, it could cause internal burningor rectal perforation. Long term use of coffee enemas can lead to malabsorption of fat, fat-soluble vitamins, and calcium.

The use of coffee enemas has led to several deaths as a result of severe electrolyte imbalance, hyponatremia, dehydration, pleural and pericardial effusions.The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has ruled that study participants must be warned of the risk of death from coffee enemas in studies that use them.

Sprudge: Well that ain’t good.

Wikipedia: Have you considered donating to Wikipedia? You use me all the time…

Sprudge: Oh sure, we’ve considered it.

But the question that coffee enthusiasts REALLY want to know is: “What coffee does one use during the coffee enema?” Do different coffees yield different results? Can one find balance, sweetness, and clarity in a sterling washed Latin American blend? Will a funky Papua New Guinea yield round, nutty bass notes?

Of course there is a preferred brand for this procedure – PurEnema, the whole bean, organic, and Fair Trade Certified coffee enema of choice.

From their website:

  • PurEnema Coffee is roasted using a special air-roasting process that results in evenly browned and aromatic beans. This process, unlike the drum roasting of mass produced coffee, does not result in any smoke or scorching that might leave carcinogenic residue on the coffee beans.
  • Air-Roasted Coffee preserves coffee’s Beneficial Nutrients: Caffeine is an important aspect of how coffee enemas work, as it stimulates bile flow, and the palmitic acid content of coffee supports glutathione’s antioxidant activity. These beneficial compounds are preserved in air-roasted coffee.
  • Whole Bean Coffee retains its freshness & potency longer. Ground coffee begins to go stale within hours, even when stored in a sealed container. For maximum freshness, store your beans in a sealed container in the freezer and grind just before use.
  • PurEnema Coffee Beans are organically grown so there are no chemical residues that are detrimental to your health. PurEnema coffee is also certified Fair Trade and shade grown, which is better both for the quality of the coffee and the long-term health of the soil.

Us? We’ll stick with The Tummy Temple.

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