What in the late stage capitalism is this? Millennials have long been the generation to raise the warning flag about wages not increasing commensurate to the cost of living and that they have been priced out of the dream of home ownership. To which they were told to stop buying so much coffee and avocado toast.
Well now here we are and a century-old coffee brand is changing its name in response to modern times. After 133 years, Maxwell House is rebranding to Maxwell Apartment.
I thought it was a joke at first. I double-checked to make sure I hadn’t stumbled into an Onion article on accident. Life becoming more and more of the farce that it is, this would be an understandable mistake. But no, KraftHeinzCompany.com is not in it for the yuks. The rebrand, which is real, is “to meet the needs of today’s consumer and remind fans the brand is synonymous with great tasting, affordable coffee.” The press release continues: “In a time where value matters now more than ever, Americans seek value in areas of their everyday, including where they live with nearly a third opting to rent versus purchase a home.”
“Opting” really doing a lot of heavy lifting there.
But before we declare a full Idiocracy, there is a marketing angle to this, one that unfortunately sprinkles in another brewing economic crisis: the rising cost of coffee. The continued trade war by the US government, especially the non-sensical 50% tariff on all Brazilian goods, has caused the price of coffee to destabilize, and consumers are beginning to feel it.
Timed with National Coffee Day, which is today, September 29th and is basically a greeting card holiday for PR teams at this point, Maxwell Apartment is offering “12 month leases” on coffee. For a limited time, folks can purchase a year’s supply of Maxwell House coffee for under $40. Along with Maxwell Apartment-branded coffee containers, the year’s supply also comes with “an official Maxwell Apartment ‘lease’ to sign.”
Per the press release, Maxwell Apartment “is one of two campaigns debuting from the coffee brand this fall as it continues to emphasize its dedication to rich, consistent flavor people can count on while doubling down on offering the best value in coffee.”
Not to put too fine a point on it, but we’ve reached the part of the dystopian hellscape where the inability to access life’s fundamental necessities is so universally accepted that a multi-billion dollar corporation has decided it is a strong marketing tool. Hahahahaha you’ll never be able to own a home in a country spiraling toward an easily avoided recession. Buy a year’s worth of coffee. Life’s so rad.
Zac Cadwalader is the managing editor at Sprudge Media Network and a staff writer based in Dallas. Read more Zac Cadwalader on Sprudge.
