My one major complaint about coffee is that, heretofore, it's been completely unfreebaseable. But now, at last, from all the way in the mountains of Costa Rica no less (all the really good psychedelic shit comes from the rainforest), here comes the Bripe, a fully blowtorchable coffee brew pipe.
The Bripe is an ultra-portable, all-copper coffee making option made for outdoor enthusiasts looking to travel light. Some people might think it looks like smoking a crack pipe. We think it looks like an easy-travellin' good time. According to their website:
Here’s how it works: Add coffee and water to the Bripe and stir. Then bring the slurry up to 185°F (85°C) by heating the bottom of the Bripe with a blue flame butane lighter. Let it cool (this step cannot be overstated). Blow a little air into the stem “to make bubbles” and then suck the coffee through the stem.
The Bripe is currently on pre-order for $49.99 through their website with a scheduled ship date some this month. For $85 through their Indiegogo campaign, you can get a full Bripe travel kit: the brew pipe and accessories, a coffee container, a carry pouch, and a blue flame torch lighter. It’s the perfect coffee accouterment for backpacking adventures in the deep jungles of the Amazon, heroic journeys through Middle Earth, or eight-hour trips to the edge of Existence.
This product is perfect for the hardcore camping trekker in your life. I am not its target audience—I love the outdoors, but my overnight arrangements fall squarely in the “glamping” category—but there are people out there right now reading this from satellite phones who desperately want a Bripe because they understand its utility. They get it. Just uh, make it very clear to the security folks at the airport what this thing actually is. Your dialogue should sound something like this:
“Yes, this is a butane torch. Yes, this my pipe paraphernalia. No, you don't understand—it's a Bripe. It's for coffee. Why are you detaining me? Back off. Back off my Bripe, bro. Don't tase me br—”
Zac Cadwalader is the news editor at Sprudge Media Network.
*top image via Bripe