“No brewing, perking, pressing, grinding or dripping required” to open a bottle of Coca Cola. Because who doesn’t love a cold, refreshing chugalug of Aspartame, phosphoric acid, glycerine and high fructose corn syrup first thing in the morning? Right?

Aren’t there all manner of fantastical ungodly chemical processes and machine-managed infusamatronics that go into making a 12oz of Coca Cola? Brewing, perking, pressing and grinding are the LEAST of the issues facing Coca Cola’s super-chemists, right? I mean, what’s…the…deal…with that?

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Is marketing against coffee the new Big Soda supertrend? Discuss…

(thanks, @andersganders via @tvf_rocks)

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