There are fewer things you’d want to see in an airport than the pilot of the plane you’re about to board yawning their way to the tarmac. I can’t meaningfully distinguish the magic of flight from actual witchcraft, but I’m pretty sure it has something to do with all those buttons and switches in the cockpit, none of which I have any idea what they do. But pilots do, which is one of the many reasons I’d like them to be maximally alert.
Thus you won’t catch me flying on British Airways any time soon, as they have just banned all flight crew from drinking coffee in public.
As reported by Aviation A2Z, it’s part of a new dress and conduct code for all cabin crew, which includes both pilots and flight attendants. The new guidelines state that drinks like coffee, tea, and soda can only be consumed in “designated areas” and are not allowed while in uniform in passenger areas. (Coffee aside, it takes a certain level of cruelty to limit a British person’s access to tea.)
In public spaces, flight crew are only allowed to drink water, “and even then, they must do so discreetly.” The changes are part of a “broader effort to maintain a professional and consistent image of the airline.” And what can be more professional than a pilot trying to sneak a sip of water like it’s a hotdog hidden up their sleeve?
It’s a weird definition of professionalism that doesn’t include the consumption of drinks like coffee and tea. It would be one thing if the pilot was double fisting Monster energy drinks on their way to the terminal or butt chugging a cold brew with a gate agent. But to do the thing that an whole entire billion of people do every day on their way to work, that’s maybe the most professional thing you can do.
What, are we worried about pilots looking like they are doing something to remedy a lingering sleepiness before taking control of one million pounds of steel? Is that it? Because I can assure you a pilot carrying a latte is far less concerning to passengers than one who is nodding off.
Zac Cadwalader is the managing editor at Sprudge Media Network and a staff writer based in Dallas. Read more Zac Cadwalader on Sprudge.
