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1. John Werthington of Albany, NY will prepare a 5 flight Chemex pairing for Thanksgiving dinner. While confusing to Gram-Grams, Mr. Worthington’s presentation will intrigue his sullen teenaged cousin, Henrietta.

2. Aunt Betty will nod off ever so slightly in the middle of Sarah Jones of Portland, OR’s dissertation on the exciting new processing developments reflected in this Espro Press of Sumatra.

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3. Benjamin Dirkens of Radishville, NJ will use a four-variety single farm 40/60 rub on his three-day brine turkey. Oddly enough, the caturra variety will dominate all flavor notes on his post-roast bird. You never can tell with Thanksgiving cooking.

4. Timothy Wilson of Sweetport, AL will shriek with alarm when he discovers his nephew, Marcus, alone in the guest bedroom with his Aeropress.

5. Shirley Hooper of Mapletown, CT will give a speech about the shameful exploitation of civet cats while dining on Tofurkey fried up by her loving, patient Uncle Morty.

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6. Ben Winklevan of Jamaica Plain (Boston), MA will serve his guests MGD – the “Champagne of Beers” – during a potluck “Friendsgiving” dinner. He’ll then inquire if anyone wants a cup of “this really sweet microlot we just got in at the shop.”

7. Every single barista forced to work on Thanksgiving Day will be drunk behind bar by 10am.

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All photos courtesy of Yahoo.

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