(Ed. note: The above commercial is currently airing in various edits on national television, and in its complete one-and-a-half minute opus form during cinema pre-screening for “The Muppets.” Copy drafted, re-drafted, edited to reduce vitriol, edited for NSFW usage, edited for objective tone, etc, and now there is very little copy left.)
To the bunch of swing dog “mush, ye huskies” corporate marketing rump-hacks who wrote this commercial for Samsung:
At 1:01, when Man #1 says “I’m creative,” and Man #2 quips “you’re a barista,” you’re evidencing an intractable disconnect with the reality of service industry professional as legitimate career choice, especially in coffee. People make a decent living, raise families, go to see “The Muppets” and buy expensive phones on service professional wages. Why would you intentionally alienate a percentage of your potential consumer base? Did this test well? How’s YOUR college debt going, Samsung marketing staff? You can all go [expletive deleted] yourselves, you bunch of smarmy bushwa jackaninnies. Your commercial sucks in comparison to most every other commercial ever produced (including these timeless spots for “Mattress Ranch”). We hope you gag on your soy milk lattes, which, btdubs, soy milk is outro like Gwyneth Paltrow.
For more on our feelings, please consult here.