Samsung Can Go [Expletive] Themselves

Samsung Can Go [Expletive] Themselves

(Ed. note: The above commercial is currently airing in various edits on national television, and in its complete one-and-a-half minute opus form during cinema pre-screening for “The Muppets.” Copy drafted, re-drafted, edited to reduce vitriol, edited for NSFW usage, edited for objective tone, etc, and now there is very little copy left.)

To the bunch of swing dog “mush, ye huskies” corporate marketing rump-hacks who wrote this commercial for Samsung:

At 1:01, when Man #1 says “I’m creative,” and Man #2 quips “you’re a barista,” you’re evidencing an intractable disconnect with the reality of service industry professional as legitimate career choice, especially in coffee. People make a decent living, raise families, go to see “The Muppets” and buy expensive phones on service professional wages. Why would you intentionally alienate a percentage of your potential consumer base? Did this test well? How’s YOUR college debt going, Samsung marketing staff? You can all go [expletive deleted] yourselves, you bunch of smarmy bushwa jackaninnies. Your commercial sucks in comparison to most every other commercial ever produced (including these timeless spots for “Mattress Ranch”). We hope you gag on your soy milk lattes, which, btdubs, soy milk is outro like Gwyneth Paltrow.

For more on our feelings, please consult here.


  1. Gpiper

    11 December

    Ummm what was your problem with this??? sensitive much

  2. Aajay Murphy

    11 December

    It wouldn’t be a big deal if it didn’t exist in a world where baristas aren’t considered professional and the running joke is that “if you can’t get a job elsewhere (because you’re lazy, rude, too hip, or inept) just work at your local coffee shop”.  I have people all the time talk down to me because I’ve chosen to work in specialty coffee.  Samsung–being the super large company they are, with an advertisement budget of more than the entire specialty coffee world’s pittance–wouldn’t have put that line in there if they didn’t think it would strike some resonant chord within its viewers.  So yeah, Samsung can definitely go “expletive deleted” themselves.  Straight garbage.

  3. Andrew

    10 December

    In addition to the jab at baristi, there’s the whole issue of negatively portraying a group of people to draw them into buying a phone… total disconnect.  I don’t want to be made fun of so much that I buy somebody’s product. 

  4. David

    5 December

    Nevermind all that, check out the moves on the Mattress Ranch spot! Old dude frickin moo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ooves like Jagger.  Outro like Paltrow…Hmmm, begin assimilation into lexicon.

  5. Samsung toting barista

    5 December

    I think its paying out hipster sheep rather than barista’s. Chill. It’s a pretty funny ad.

  6. Linus

    5 December

    I hope I’m missing some sarcasm here. I kinda agree with the commercial though, they seem to be bashing hipsters, not barista’s, which is something every hipster (barista or no) should be able to enjoy!

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