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This Coffee Says It Will Make You S-M-R-T

This Coffee Says It Will Make You S-M-R-T

Recently, we reported on how even the smell of coffee has the ability to increase one’s mathematic acuity. Ultimately, researcher’s concluded that it was most likely a placebo effect leading to the increased scores, but still, coffee cause that placebo effect, so coffee makes you better at math. Simple as that. But there’s a new coffee on the market that claims it will actually make you smarter. Created by an actual doctor, Neuro Coffee claims that just one cup will “boost proteins in your brain that are linked to mental acuity, learning, and general wellbeing.”

According to The Manual, it isn’t the coffee in Neuro Coffee that is said to boost brainpower but a “patented antioxidant complex” called NeuroFactor added to it. And from whence is that patented antioxidant complex derived, you ask? Why, from cascara! The company claims that cascara consumption increases a protein called Brain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor (BDNF), and is called “Miracle-Gro for the brain.” Neuro Coffee’s website states that BDNF helps support neuron growth and repair, learning, mood and wellbeing, and metabolic health.

Sounds great, right? But does it sound $45 for a 12-ounce bag of pre-ground coffee great? Because that’s how much it would cost to buy a bag, though if you sign up for a subscription it’ll only be $30 a bag. But according to the website’s math (represented in the infographic below), Neuro Coffee is actually a steal. Based on their calculations, you can save 79%. All you have to do is assume you’ll pay “$30 – $40” instead of the $45 sticker price, compare making coffee at home (which is always cheaper) to “coffee shop coffee,” and believe that making coffee at home costs $0.00.

Maybe you’re curious, maybe you’re dubious, but if your interest is piqued, now’s the time to try it yourself. According to The Manual, Neuro Coffee “offers a six-month 100 percent money back guarantee,” and will even buy you four bags of your old coffee should you choose to go back. Assuming Neuro does not change my life forever and I’m able to take advantage of the offer, my four bags will be the most expensive Gesha I can possibly find, preferably ordered from Finland or Greece or somewhere with especially high shipping rates, because who’s smart now?

Zac Cadwalader is the news editor at Sprudge Media Network and a staff writer based in Dallas. Read more Zac Cadwalader on Sprudge.

 


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