Have you ever wanted to join the fast-paced world of coffee blogging? The spro, the dough, the blow – not a day goes by that I don’t dive in a vault filled with all three, Scrooge McDuck style. If you’re ready to live out all your Wolf of Wall Street coffee fantasies, then have I got a once in a lifetime opportunity for you! For the low, low price of over $50,000, you can buy the Barista.com domain name. Dreams really do come true!

Currently up for auction on Sedo.com — some sort of domain auction house that isn’t nearly as funny as I was expecting – the reserve price for Barista.com is somewhere between $50,000 and $99,999 USD, though the current bid is only $9,100. Sounds like you could swoop in and get it on the cheap. The auction notes that this is only for the domain and NOT the content, which I’m sure is very disappointing to you as a potential buyer. How in the world could you ever reproduce all that “coming soon” (thank you for your patients [sic]) and “this domain is for sale” original content for which Barista.com has become so beloved and famous over the past decade? I’m sure you’ll come up with something, if you want that Olympic-sized portafilter-shaped pool, that is.

At the time of writing this, there were almost exactly two days left on the auction, so the time to act is now! But you already knew that. A go-getter like you knows you have to jump on it like a beast before the price goes straight up to $99,999. You’ve probably already bid on it. Hell, you’ve probably already won the auction. I don’t even know why I’m still writing.

PS: If you have a hair under six figures to purchase a coffee domain name, I know an editor or two with direct experience in the online coffee journalism space that would love to be a part of your team. Holla atcha boi.

Zac Cadwalader is the news editor at Sprudge Media Network.