Twitter user @ColdBrew420 is a national, no, international coffee internet treasure. Since launching in 2014, the handle has effectively meme-ified, skewered, and emoji’d the specialty coffee industry within an inch of its life, but always with a winking charm that lets you know deep down you are the bae.
@ColdBrew420 is the specialty coffee equivalent of @BrandsSayingBae, but rather than document the foibles of erstwhile brands attempting Twitter teenspeak, CB420 adds to the din, proving once and for all that in 2015 coffee is what’s on fleek. We are not responsible for the Twitter account but are huge, huge fans. So today, in honor of both Cold Brew Day and 4/20, it falls upon us to feature 420 of our favorite @ColdBrew420 tweets.
Dem Tweets tho.
that thing when you’re drinking cold brew but you’re so hi and then you realize you already finished your cold brew
— COLDBREW420 (@coldbrew420) April 20, 2015
420 IS NATIONAL COLD BREW DAY? AM I GOD? — COLDBREW420 (@coldbrew420) April 19, 2015
so, what’s your favorite beverage? this exclusive interview is over.
— COLDBREW420 (@coldbrew420) April 17, 2015
TURN UP ON A COLD BREW — COLDBREW420 (@coldbrew420) April 16, 2015
that thing when you ask a girl out and she says yes and then you realize you’re just a delicious cold brew and she only wants a sip
— COLDBREW420 (@coldbrew420) April 13, 2015
objective: to make cold brew qualifications: sold my soul to cold brew experience: im a cold brew education: cold brew university, 1969 — COLDBREW420 (@coldbrew420) April 8, 2015
imagine this: me and the mini linea just hanging out and looking good
— COLDBREW420 (@coldbrew420) April 1, 2015
WHAT THE FINCA — COLDBREW420 (@coldbrew420) March 29, 2015
i could write a 4,000 word essay on flat whites no prob. it’d be extremely biased, in all caps, and have lots of sparkle emojis but still
— COLDBREW420 (@coldbrew420) March 25, 2015
if you think all the babes like me now, just wait until the summer — COLDBREW420 (@coldbrew420) March 22, 2015
help me get 420,000,000 followers by telling all your coolest friends about me
— COLDBREW420 (@coldbrew420) March 22, 2015
DONT FORGET TO DRINK YOUR COFFEE AND DO YOUR BEST TODAY — COLDBREW420 (@coldbrew420) March 18, 2015
TAMP SO HARD PORTAFILTERS WANNA FINE ME
— COLDBREW420 (@coldbrew420) March 12, 2015
sometimes drinking cold brew makes me feel cold but mostly it just makes me feel in love — COLDBREW420 (@coldbrew420) March 11, 2015
In true 4/20 status we’re starting to lose interest in achieving the original claims of this article. It’s beautiful outside…surely nobody actually wants hundreds of these things compiled…maybe a few more Tweets then go for a walk? Sounds good. Back to the Tweets.
FAV IF YOU DRANK COLD BREW TODAY
— COLDBREW420 (@coldbrew420) March 11, 2015
OH GOD IM SO ALONE
— COLDBREW420 (@coldbrew420) March 10, 2015
IM A COMPLEX COLD BREW
— COLDBREW420 (@coldbrew420) March 7, 2015
HELLO DEPT OF HEALTH WHAT’S YOUR EMERGENCY MY “COLD BREW” IS ACTUALLY ICED COFFEE
— COLDBREW420 (@coldbrew420) March 2, 2015
YOU’RE ALL 94 POINT COFFEES!
— COLDBREW420 (@coldbrew420) March 1, 2015
fav if you’re turnt
— COLDBREW420 (@coldbrew420) February 27, 2015
I AM LOVED
— COLDBREW420 (@coldbrew420) February 27, 2015
sometimes i dream about me and four barrel and slingshot and stumptown all lying under the stars in silence just thinking about coffee
— COLDBREW420 (@coldbrew420) February 26, 2015
It pretty much just goes on like this, for months and months, with equal parts brand badgering, existentialist dread, and Cold Brew normative aphorisms. Will @ColdBrew420 finally get the girl(s)? Will @ColdBrew420 eventually force Four Barrel to pay attention? We aren’t actually going to list out four hundred and twenty individual Tweets because like…not even CB420 wants that.
But we do implore you: go follow @ColdBrew420 on Twitter and make friends with speciality coffee’s weirdest, best, and inarguably most turnt social media handle. You’re welcome.