The people have spoken and a resounding majority of the coffee industry, despite a Gear Patrol article to the contrary, do not want you to put turmeric in your espresso. Using the most technologically sound scientific methods (a Twitter poll), we were able to say with 100% certainty that 355 out of 408 people do NOT want turmeric anywhere near their espressos.

For some, a mere vote wasn’t sufficient to express exactly how much of a big nope the turmeric espresso combo dombo was, including David Jameson, a two-time UK Coffee in Good Spirits champion.

Others were… more succinct.

Others still, doctors even, said yes but we are pretty sure they meant no.

But what about the 13% that said yes? If the comments are any indication, their opinions are a bit more nuanced than a binary yes/no can handle. Turns out, they weren’t so much on the turmeric train as they were proposing that “you do you.”

Ever the pontificator (or puntificator as it were), Adam JacksonBey got real existential.

And Sprudge features editor Michael Light, now on indefinite suspension for not at all related reasons, is pro-turmeric, full stop.

So we’ve settled it. Despite this baffling headline, the coffee industry doesn’t want you to put turmeric in your espresso. But what they do want above all is for you to enjoy your coffee in whatever manner it is that suits you best. Turmeric, no turmeric, sugar, cinnamon, butter, whiskey, served in a shoe, hot, cold (though some have some pretty normative claims about cold brew), however. When it comes to coffee, you do you. The coffee industry is here for it.

There’s only one last mystery to clear up. How the hell do you even say turmeric? Luckily, we’ve put together this lovely pronunciation video to help. Case closed.

Zac Cadwaladerย is the news editor at Sprudge Media Network and a staff writer based in Dallas.ย Read more Zac Cadwaladerย on Sprudge.