We’re looking for you, Micro Goats Coffee Roasters.

For the better part of the last year, the Instagram account @micro_goats_coffee_roasters has been epically trolling the whole of specialty coffee. The company, who advertises itself as “Brand new 4 wave specialty coffee micro lot roaster, direct trade 88+ farm to palm,” is not a real company in any sense of the term, but is in fact an exquisite exercise in the dark troll arts.

Dark. Troll. Arts.

Here’s the account’s first post:

Bran new Microlot coming to town from farm to cup direct trade model 88+

A post shared by Micro Goats (@micro_goats_coffee_roasters) on

This one is pretty epic:

We think whomever is responsible for this county is likely Australian:

Well this batch rost is so far on tha f*ckin dark side it may s well say "I AM YO FATHER" n chop me hand off.

A post shared by Micro Goats (@micro_goats_coffee_roasters) on

That is not how this works:

Can you imagine?

We could select several more posts; there are dozens that troll in a similar style. All in all, a masterwork of specialty (or “speciality” if based in Europe) coffee trolling the likes of which we’ve not seen in some time.

Sprudge Media Network wants to know: are YOU responsible for Micro Goats on Instagram? Please contact us. Anonymity guaranteed, and there’s a very real chance we’ll want to interview you once your identity has been verified. Oy bruv, give us a nudge at or leave a message on the Sprudge Hotline 1-888-55-SPRUDGE (global toll-free). 

This story is developing…