When it comes to the desk job weekdays, there really isn’t a better way to start off the morning than with a cup of coffee and a perfectly toasted bagel. Add a little schmear, some lox, maybe a few capers, and the weekend just feels that much closer, even if only that brief, bready moment. Indeed coffee and a bagel are two things that go perfectly together, but maybe shouldn’t GO together. But alas they have, in the Espresso Buzz Bagel from Einstein Bros.
According to Food & Wine, the Espresso Buzz Bagel is caffeinated, boasting 32mg of caffeine, roughly “a third as much caffeine as you can find in an 8-ounce cup of coffee.” The bagels are made using a mix of espresso and coffee-cherry flour, which is actually pretty cool. And kind of expensive. $9 a pound? No thanks.
Now, I’ve got no hate for Einstein Bros. They make an above average bagel that can be found anywhere in the Lower 48, though it is fair to say they are far from the best bagel I’ve ever had; [TRIGGER WARNING] the best bagel I’ve ever had is at Rosenberg’s Bagels in Denver. The best English muffin? Those are at La Grande Orange Grocery in Phoenix. Come at me, bro.
But this espresso bagel? I don’t know. It just sounds wrong. Why don’t we just put all of breakfast into a blender to make a brownish AM paste? Because it’s gross, that’s why. I can get on board with the coffee-cherry flour part, but I’m not sure about the espresso. If you really want to get espresso in your brekkie, why not an espresso-rubbed, cold-smoked salmon? Now that sounds tasty. Rosenberg’s, get on it!
But hey, not every idea can be a home run. At least Einstein Bros. are trying and doing so on a grand scale; the Espresso Buzz Bagel appears to be available nationwide. Maybe go to one of your 20 local Einstein Bros. and try the espresso bagel for yourself.
Seriously though, espresso-rubbed lox is the obvious correct answer. It was always espresso-rubbed lox.
Zac Cadwalader is the news editor at Sprudge Media Network.
*top image via Einstein Bros. Twitter