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Dutch Bros. Coffee Hires Seattle Rapper Macklemore...

Dutch Bros. Coffee Hires Seattle Rapper Macklemore In Most PNW Story Of All-Time

Not photoshopped.

Continuing the long tradition of cheesy white dudes getting coffee promotions for which they are dubiously qualified, Seattle rapper Macklemore (née Benjamin Haggerty) has been named Executive Creative Dirctor at Dutch Bros. Coffee Cold Brew division.

For those unfamiliar, Dutch Bros. is a southern Oregon based chain of drive-thru coffee shops—more than 300 total, many owned by franchisees—with locations sprawling from Tucson to Bellingham. The announcement appears to be promotional tie-in for Macklemore’s upcoming performance at a Dutch Bros. internal corporate event, proceeds from which we can only assume performer plans to use to purchase an elaborate wardrobe refresh of vintage watches and mink furs. More from Q13 Fox News Local Seattle:

Seattle-born rapper and songwriter Macklemore is teaming up with a popular Oregon-based coffee company company.

Dutch Bros has hired Macklemore, whose real name is Benjamin Haggerty, as executive creative director for Dutch Bros Cold Brew.

A company spokesperson said he’ll be helping to develop new products and flavors on a short-term basis until this summer when he performs at an internal company event called COACHA.

“This is a natural partnership for us – Macklemore is a huge fan of our Cold Brew and we’re a huge fan of his creativity!” Dutch Bros spokesperson Melanie Spliethof  said.

In honor of today’s momentous news I’ve composed the following couplet in tribute, to the tune of Macklemore’s 2012 hit “Thrift Shop.”

I drink your grandad’s roast

I mix syrup with spro

I like my mocha froze

From the Dutch Bros. down the road. 

Dutch Bros. bold, sugar-laden corporate move has sparked a wave of similar acquihires fusing the coffee and entertainment industries. We understand Cheltenham Township native Lil Dicky is in talks with Philadelphia-based coffee brand La Colombe to join its corporate board as director of partying down, while Joe Coffee are rumored to be looking to purchase the transfer rights for MC Paul Barman.

This story is developing.

Jordan Michelman (@suitcasewine) is a co-founder and editor at Sprudge Media Network. 

 


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