I must admit, I have a bit of a soft spot for unhinged conspiracy theorist extraordinaire Alex Jones. Back before he was a nationally recognizable edgeless face or had the ear of the equally-edgeless president, Jones was a lovable looney on Austin’s Public Access television, one that I would regularly watch late at night instead of studying for exams or writing papers. Sure, he was still had some pretty out-there theories, but they all made sense within the context of “Keeping Austin Weird;” Jones was even has a cameo in Richard Linklater’s Waking Life, perhaps the most hippy-dippy Austin movie ever made. Jones has changed quite a bit since those salad day, but even within the context of my own collegial nostalgia, there is a great amount of schadenfreude in watching Alex Jones get blasted in the face with a thermos full of coffee.

As reported by The Stranger, Jones was on a “work-cation” in Seattle, which for his clan entails his wife visiting old friends, their kids seeing killer whales, and Jones spending days ranting on street corners about jihadis and cucks and cult bots. You know, normal family stuff. During Jones’ second day of trying to wake up the sheeple to coming New World Order—one that saw more than a few middle fingers from passersby (and Jones running, which you can’t unsee)—one young chap decided to let Jones know his opinion of the radio host, yelling “you’re trash.” After Jones caught up to the lad to “come tell [him] on camera,” the two postured for a bit, though admittedly the non-Jones combatant seemed to be having a much better time during the exchange. After some boilerplate Jones word soup, the passerby unscrewed the lid to his to-go mug and gave him a face full of Seattle’s best.

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Now, I don’t typically believe in weaponizing coffee, because it’s a hot liquid and could seriously hurt someone. But I’m pretty sure Jones’ face was that red before the dousing so I don’t believe this coffee was of the piping hot variety. It is the unfortunate consequence of taking an ultra-aggressive persona into an uncontrolled environment. You can say whatever you want when you are alone in a sound room recording a radio show without the threat of a liquid assault, but not so much in public. And really, a little tepid coffee is the lightest manifestation of the age-old adage, “talk shit, get hit.”

Final score:
“Biggest cucks on the planet”: 1
Alex Jones: 0

Zac Cadwalader is the news editor at Sprudge Media Network.

*video via CBS News

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