As a frequent trawler of coffee news, I can tell you that the cost of coffee drinks is on the rise and it is concerning. A cup of coffee should cost a buck and the coffee price on the commodities market is at an all-time high (as long as you don’t factor in pesky things like inflation), thus your God-given right to cheap oat milk lattes is in mortal peril. This has led some to get evasive and institute a “hack” to cut the cost of their espresso drinks in half.
Please don’t say condiment bar please don’t say condiment bar please don’t say condiment bar
Good news! It’s not by abusing the condiment bar! Maybe bad news! This doesn’t seem a whole lot better. As reported by News.com.au, an Australian woman has taken to TikTok to share how she is able to score two iced oat milk lattes for just $8, when they would normally cost double that. So what’s her secret? Buying one drink and stealing the second? Slipping in a few counterfeit bills at the counter? No! She brings her own milk.
According to the post, the Tiktoker orders two doubleshot espressos, costing roughly $4 each, that she then adds to mason jars full of ice and oat milk she brought from home, thus allowing her to achieve the feet of procuring two ice oat milk lattes for only $8.
Something about it just feels wrong but I can’t quite put my finger on it. On one hand, she bought the espressos fair and square and can do anything she would like with them. So long as she paid for them, she can throw them in the trash for all I care. So why is sneaking in a little oat milk any different? This way, she is still supporting a (presumably) small business while also being cost conscious. It should be a win-win, right?
Perhaps the response here is almost Pavlovian. After decades of folks becoming incensed over the cost of a cup of coffee and thus feeling justified in exploiting whatever shortcut they can find to getting their favorite beverage cheaper—ahem, the condiment bar—maybe the bristling is not from this latest “hack” but from the long and shitty history of those that came before it. And maybe, this one isn’t so bad?
Still, it’s easy to imagine how this can all spiral out of control in fairly short order. Maybe the espresso isn’t just for takeaway anymore, which is really starting to wade in a grey area. (Ask a restaurant how they would feel about someone ordering a salad before plopping out a big ole honking steak from their purse.) Pretty soon, maybe folks will start ordering espressos, oh and while you’re at it could you be a dear and steam this milk for me? And if you don’t think customers are shameless enough to do that, then I think maybe it’s time for you to get back behind the bar.
There’s an undeniable ickiness to all this but I just can’t quite figure out what it is.
Zac Cadwalader is the managing editor at Sprudge Media Network and a staff writer based in Dallas. Read more Zac Cadwalader on Sprudge.
