What’s a famous-actor-turned-Duchess-of-Sussex-turned-former-Royal-Family-member to do with her time now that she is no longer under the thumb of the Queen? For multi-hyphenate Meghan Markle, the answer is easy: more hyphens, but with coffee! According to the Guardian, the Duchess of Sussex is newly minted investor in Clevr Brands, makers of oat-milk-adaptogen-probiotic-mushroom instant superfood lattes.
Instant coffee and oat milk are two powerful forces in today’s coffee world, so it was really only a matter of time before their gravities pulled one another into a collision course. And with all the hot bit players in the healthy coffee craze—mushrooms, adaptogens, probiotics, turmeric—Clevr is perhaps the most 2020 coffee drink out there. (Activated charcoal and MCT oil are so 2019.)
So how did Clevr link up with Markle, whose net worth along with husband Prince Harry is believed to float around $10B? According to a post on @meghanmarkle_official, the oddly-named Instagram fan account, the Clevr brand started as a pop-up shop in Santa Monica, California, “near where Markle and her husband Prince Harry relocated earlier this year.” After tasting the merchandise, Markle reached out to the “woman-led, mission-driven wellness company” about potentially investing.
And of course they said yes. Who else could just send a goodie bag to Oprah—fucking Oprah!—who would then hype your product to her 19 million Instagram followers? No one but an American-born princess, the people’s royal coffee superfood peddler. Clevr states they will use the investment to scale the business, which seems like a smart move, because again, Oprah.
But if Markle, who resigned her position in the spotlight with the Royal Family, thinks the oat milk life is going to be an easy one, she’s got another thing coming. There’s multi-national dark money, labored defenses of said money, Big Lactose trying to keep anything not produced by a teat from being called “milk”. The oak milk pressure cooker is not for the faint of heart. We look forward to following this saga on Season 7 of The Crown.