Sad David Chang & Other Misadventures At Silver Lake 365

Whole Foods’ newest concept 365, a “millennial-geared spin-off offering quality at a lower price point” opened recently in the L.A.’s hip Silver Lake neighborhood. LAist writer Julia Wick got a chance to preview the new grocery extravaganza, and the world is a better place for it. Her article is pitch-perfect, going aisle by aisle to lay waste to the organic Mega Lo Mart’s hopes of capturing the hearts and pocketbooks of the young and well-to-do.

She’s gets it:

Displays have signage that say playful things in faux-hand lettered fonts. The message is clear: Whole Foods might be a massive corporation, but the Silver Lake 365 by Whole Foods Market is cool. They get it.

In “Veg Valley,” all the vegetables are the right color:

The greens are very green, but not in an overly bright, too-green way. That would be gauche, and reek of preservatives. These greens are a perfect, bespoke green. They are delicious. Everything in the Silver Lake 365 by Whole Foods Market is delicious.

And then there’s this dumb anagram:

advert new rules of coffee now available

We are taken to the market’s northeast corner, which features an original artwork mural by a local artist. It says “Silver Kale.” I don’t have the words to describe it, so I will just leave it at those two: Silver Kale.

I wonder if this will become a neighborhood icon. Ten years from now, will teenagers gather in front of this wall to take selfies and post them on a social network that hasn’t been invented yet? Will this be their Elliott Smith wall? Probably.

David Chang was there, and looked real sad:

David asks me if I like the sauce, and then waits to hear my response like he really wants to know what I think. I say it is great. It is great.

Tomorrow, David will literally have a dinner party with Martha Stewart, but today he is patiently handing me a napkin while I spit out the tail of my cocktail shrimp and our personal brands are one.

And Wick found coffee, too:

Also of particular note is the second store-within-a-store, where Allegro coffee and Larder Baking Co. pastries will be sold.

There is coffee for three dollars, which is a triumph in the land of Silver Lake, where the insane prices of coffee continue to climb like gas listings in 1973.

I’ve read this article maybe 10 times already, and I’m going to read it again in full here, as you should. Bravo, Julia Wick. You’re not the food journalist a mega corporate retooling needs, but you’re the one it deserves.

Zac Cadwalader is the news editor at Sprudge Media Network.

*all photos by Julia Wick