Real Simple, a magazine for the non-fat banana smoothie probiotic yoga set, has aimed its up-do poof crosshairs directly at coffee shops. The abuse of complimentary condiments is nothing new, and has been talked to death by the industry, but srsly, Real Simple is actually advising their readers to steal. We think this is Real Stupid, and who does it hurt the most? It’s the mom & pops, the Josh and Jamie independent cafes who feel the pinch in their bi-weekly milk bills, from fine local farms like MOO-ville Dairy, Rhody Fresh, Udderly Utica, Boise Bovine, COW-lifornia Milk Co., Sunshine Dairy, Battenkill Farms, Jersey Jerseys, Thank Goodness It’s Guernsey, and Hackensack Holsteins.

It’s like going to a Mexican restaurant, ordering horchata, drinking horchata and filling the empty cup at the salsa bar. If crapazines like Real Simple keep publishing this pulp, it won’t be long til your favorite cafes are reduced to serving cappuccinos made with MOO-santo Alternative Malks. For shame, “anonymous barista”. For shame!