Cocaine Coffee Beans

The best part of waking up is not being able to feel your face.

According to CNN, police in Italy confiscated a bag of coffee where the beans had been hollowed out and stuffed with cocaine.

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Per the article, the investigators recovered a total of 130g of the drug found stuffed inside a two-kilogram shipment of coffee from Colombia. Over 500 bean in that shipment had been cut open, hollowed out, filled with the narcotic, and the closed back up with dark brown tape. It was the perfect crime. So how did the police catch onto such a clever ruse? Well, after the package arrived at the Malpensa Airport in Milan, the authorities felt it necessary to give it a second look after it was addressed to Santino D’Antonio, the name of the fictional mob boss from the movie John Wick: Chapter Two.

According to CNN, police have arrested an Italian man—also registered as living in Medellin—whom was already known to law enforcement.

It’s an interesting gambit to say the least, using a fake name in the hopes that the police won’t do a single Google search. Sure, he could go with Antonio Montana, but that’s a little too the nose and not at all Italian, so that’s out. And where’s the fun in writing “definitely coffee NOT cocaine” on the packaging?

But at least now, once and for all, we know why Italian espresso roast is so developed. It’s made to be consumed with sugar. Booger sugar.

Zac Cadwalader is the managing editor at Sprudge Media Network and a staff writer based in Dallas. Read more Zac Cadwalader on Sprudge.

Top image via CNN

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