Dear non-service industry workers, just a quick note to remind you that those in the service industry are in fact human just like you (unless they are Briggo), and as such, you should treat them in a manner that you would deem appropriate for how you would like to be interacted with. Or to put it another way, when you are ordering coffee at a cafe, get off your fucking phone.
This doesnโt mean simply prying that thin rectangle away from your ear, butโin most cases, more on that momentarilyโremoving any and all new-fangled means of interacting with it. And as The Takeout avers, this includes AirPods.
As part of their advice column The Salty Waitress, The Takeout recently fielded a question on this very topic from a person named Kevin:
Dear Salty, I was at the coffee shop counter, and the cashier wouldnโt take my order until I took off my AirPod! And it was only in one ear! Am I the asshole here?
Short answer: Potentially, but, dear Kevin, you may not be the only one.
First, letโs all agree that talking on your phone or listening to music or being otherwise distracted by your handheld device while ordering is a complete no-go. It is discourteous to both the person taking your order as well as the rest of the folks in line who have to suffer the slowdown because you canโt un-mindmeld for two seconds. Itโs unlikely whatever you are doing is actually urgent, so just ask the person on the other end to hold while you interact with another human in a respectful and normal way. But, if that call actually is that important, then donโt get in line until it is done. Or just step out of line if the call is not complete by the time you get to the front. Maybe thatโs a minor inconvenience for you, but this is your issue, donโt foist the inconvenience on those around you; itโs your burden to bear.
Still with me thus far? Great.
Now, onto the AirPods. If youโre not listening to anything, then why is there a need to take them out? They have no effect on your ability to interact, right? Wrong! The real question is: if youโre not listening to anything, why is there a need to keep them in?
Ah, but here is where the wickets get sticky and where The Salty Waitress errs. While it is 100% true that all able-bodied individuals should remove their AirPods before ordering (keeping them in their hand and not placing them on the counter like a waxy monster), many folks with a hearing impairment use AirPods and the like as a discrete, lower cost alternative to other hearing aids, and a barista or any other service industry worker would be hard pressed to discern the former from the latter. And as such, asking someone to remove their AirPodsโeven if they are able-bodied, which again, how would you knowโalso makes you the asshole here.
Listen, hereโs the deal: the world is going to hell in handbasket moving at the speed of light. Everyone in this world has problems big and small that they deal with on a daily basis and there is simply no reason for you, able-bodied dipshit customer and presumptuous service industry professional, to be another one of those problems for someone else when you can so easily avoid doing so.
Let’s all just make an agreement right here and now, an amendment to the social contract we all have tacitly entered into. Those of us who are able to will remove any and all distractions when interacting with those taking our orders, and those taking orders will assume anyone wearing AirPods and the like at the counter have a reason to and won’t question it. Any action outside of this new understanding puts the perpetrator in the risk of being the asshole here.
TL;DR it takes literally no effort for you to be kind to those you interact with on a daily basis. Doing the contrary means that, yes, you are in fact a terrible person. You are no different than the person who puts two pieces of luggage in the overhead binโthe true scum of the earthโand if I had my way, you would be shot from a cannon into space to float aimlessly until you find the actual center of the universe. I think weโd both agree itโs where you belong.
Zac Cadwaladerย is the managing editor at Sprudge Media Network and a staff writer based in Dallas.ย Read more Zac Cadwaladerย on Sprudge.
Top image ยฉ Adobe Stock/Nadia Snopek