Three months ago it was announced that La Colombe purchased a dairy farm in rural Michigan that would serve as their home base for all Draft Latte production. Well, that 55,000-square-foot facility is now up and running, and the Philadelphia based coffee roaster’s ready-to-drink cans will soon be available nationwide at retailers like Whole Foods, Target, and Wegmans.
To christen the farm’s milk-maiden voyage, CEO Todd Carmichael did the only thing that made any sense: he shot a Draft Latte can into space.
Carmichael opted to forgo the more traditional christening route of breaking a Draft Latte against one of the structures on the coffee farm (literally hitting the broad side of a barn, which regrettably, as of press time, there is no empirical evidence that he can). Instead, he strapped a Draft Latte and a GoPro to a drone, and BANG! ZOOM! Straight to the moon! This marks the first instance of ready-to-drink coffee in orbit.
Or does it? There is speculation that Carmichael may have faked the whole thing as a means of gaining the upper hand in the brewing Cold War (or it is a Cold Brewing War?) with Blue Bottle, whose claims of opening a café on Moon Base Hyperion have also been met with suspicion. The La Colombe camp insists the video is genuine. Marketing Manager Alicia Moore had this to say:
But noted Alientology analysis expert Bixby Klendathu isn’t buying it:
Scary stuff. But in the meantime, before our extraterrestrial overlords return, La Colombe’s Draft Latte is available terrestrially nationwide imminently, which really might be the most incredible part of the whole story anyway.
Zac Cadwalader is the news editor at Sprudge Media Network.