Pavlovian Greek tragedy from ESPN Boston, featuring America’s foremost purveyor of lemon cake paired with America’s foremost purveyor of touchdown antics:

New England Patriots wide receiver Chad Ochocinco said he was “not trippin’” about losing his wallet, credit cards, license and iPod when his SUV was broken into on Wednesday, but was inconsolable about his Starbucks gold card being stolen as well.

According to the Starbucks web site, gold card holders get a free drink every 15 times the card is used, free syrup or soy milk with any coffee purchase and, of course, a personalized card so the barista will know you by name when you order. Customers need to use their Starbucks card at least 30 times a year to upgrade it to a gold card.

Later in the day, Ochocinco tweeted that the mother of one of his followers had found the wallet in Providence. While it contained his credit cards and license, the Starbucks gold card was missing.

Shortly after the heist, Mr. Ochocinco’s wallet was discovered and returned by the mother of one of his 3,453,840 Twitter followers. But the much-malgined Starbucks card was not spared, having gone missing somewhere in transit (the details are sketchy). To the credit of their social media savvy, the folks at Starbucks used this opportunity to discuss the issue with Ocho – in public, on Twitter, of course – and then agreed to replace the card and its numerative contents, thereby restoring balance to the universe.