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South African espresso machine manufacturer Espresso Veloce has developed a line of coffee machines that emulate the look and feel of high-powered automobile engines. Car blogs are predictably buzzing. While the actual functionality of the machine remains fuzzy (as of publishing, we’ve not heard from Espresso Veloce, who may very well be on an extended non-American ultra holiday break), but those aforementioned car blogs have a lengthy list of its aesthetic components:

The Espresso Veloce Serie Titanio V12 is designed to resemble a half-scale F1 engine, and is made from race-ready materials like titanium, aluminium and stainless steel. Priced at 9000 pounds ($16,500) only 500 of this model will be created. But if you miss out on one of these, you might go for the V10 or V8 versions, or their counterparts in the Serie Carbonio Nero black carbon-fibre model lines.
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Like the Titanio V12, they’re assembled from more than 90 precision components machined from solid billets, and must conform to tolerances within a tenth of a millimetre. Tungsten and argon welding is used to create features like the aviation-spec titanium exhaust pipes — which deliver the coffee into stainless steel ‘piston’ cups’ — while anodising and hand polishing add colour and shine.

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The scant details concerning the machine’s coffee-making abilities concern us – we’re nervous nellies like that – but Cars Guide had this to say:

The coffee works include an internal tank joined to a high-pressure pump feeding a heat exchanger that passes boiling water through the pipes into the head, resulting in 22 bar pressure to pump out the perfect shot.

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22 bar pressure for the perfect shot, eh? That’s “absolutely ludicrous, says a US-based espresso machine tech who wishes to remain anonymous. “Top-of-the-line espresso machines generate 9 bars of pressure. 22 is overkill.” But like pretty much everyone who loves pretty looking espresso machines, our source was curious. “While I can’t say for certain if this machine will produce good coffee or not,” they told us, “and I’m really skeptical. I’d like to see it in person!”

Wouldn’t we all? Wouldn’t we all.

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