Introducing The “Most Annoying Coffee Order ...

Introducing The “Most Annoying Coffee Order Ever” Generator – Version 1.0


After years of exhaustive research, the team at Sprudge Labs have built the Most Annoying Coffee Order Ever generator. This generator is finally out of months of beta testing and officially released under version 1.0. Help us build an even bigger generator by sounding off in the comments below.

Behold! The “Most Annoying Coffee Order Ever” Generator: 

Wow, you look tired - maybe you should be the one having the triple shot one shot decaf two shots regular bone dry gibraltar half for here but half to go




  1. Johan

    14 June

    So is this all ‘fairtrade’ ?

  2. M. Moonchild

    15 August

    … I bet you get decafed..

  3. Sometimes no matter now clearly you explain things to a customer, you have to give them what they think they want, even if they don’t understand. So, espresso, iced, with a dollop of foam on top it is. It may not have been one of the strangest orders we received, but one we never replicated for ourselves when business was slow.

  4. E

    8 September

    Hmm let me remember

    about 2 volumetric oz of turbinado sugar
    4 scoops of milk shake mix stuff (pretty sure this stuff causes lung cancer after inhalation….or at least brief asphyxia)
    4 shots of espresso
    4-6 oz of milk
    16 oz cup full of ice
    Poured into 20oz cup
    top third of cup filled with cappuccino micro foam

    Luckily this drink was always called in in advance and accompanied with a nice tip.

  5. Alicia

    3 March

    My all time favorite is the SALTED CARAMEL WHITE CHOCOLATE MOCHA. Since they no longer have the salt topping it has been hell to get a similar drink. A barista told me I could also order it as a WHITE MOCHA WITH TOFEE NUT SYRUP & CARAMEL DRIZZLE. The problem is that costs almost a dollar more for the same drink ordered a different way! Help! I like what I like but it is so frustrating as 40% of the time my drink is wrong & I have to turn around and sit through the horribly lo g drive-thru line all over again! Any advice on how I can get the salted caramel white mocha taste without them having the salt topping now? Thanks! Email me please! As I will probably not remember to check back for replies!

  6. Alicia

    3 March

    My brother-in-law ordered a “TALL, HOT, BLONDE” the other day, it was so funny & just like him to come up with something off the wall like that!

  7. Heather

    10 January

    I once had a customer who was a regular who got the same drink or “drinks” every day. It HAD to be done precisely and in the right order, and only under her close supervision.
    1) 8 oz. cup of hot water, 3/4 full
    2) macchiato:
    -split shot
    -kid’s temp
    – poured for 6 seconds, but only counting fast out loud, so more like 4
    seconds (I swear to god…)
    3) 12 oz. cup of ice-cold water with no ice (she was under the impression that she was allergic to ice….)


  8. Blazej

    31 December

    It was 2005 in Edinburgh in Chocotalte Soup Coffee Bar. A man from Texas USA came to a bar, looked at a menu and said:
    ” aaaa … uuu … mmmm … aaa … yyy … eeee … yeah … mmm … eeeee … raight … eee … mmm … aaa …. double espresso with mashmellow topping please and dont forget to give me a spoon boy” with a great smile on his face :) It was hilarious and this guy made my day :)

  9. duneymag

    30 December

    20oz 4 shots 1/3 decaf decaf non fat no foam soy breve cappuccino with three pumps of sugar free vanilla and two pumps chocolate with four sweet and lows and extra whipcream

  10. Shea M.

    26 December

    “Rice milk cappuccino.”

    “220 degree no foam soy cappuccino.”

    These are funny, and ACTUAL orders I have received!

    Oh, and this…

    “I want a white drink with coffee in it. Blended. A vanilla!”

  11. Mark

    15 September

    Today I had a lady try to order a double iced vanilla latte to-go with extra foam. When I tried to explain to her that her drink wouldn’t be steamed, so there wouldn’t be any foam, she said “yeah, but can I just have a little on the side?”

  12. jacob

    13 September

    Spot-on. “I’m gonna do…” and “Gimmie…” So irritating.

  13. namenameLaura H

    11 September

    I’ll take your tallest vanilla coffee. Then the 20 questions start

  14. nameLaura H

    11 September

    Order chai, and say chia-
    Order a grande anything call it grand A

  15. Laura H

    11 September

    Mine are those that start with, “I don’t know if you can make this, but I usually go to Starbucks. Sorry!” really? International certified barista, but because we live in a small town, they don’t get it. AND, only coffeehouse in a 30 mike radius for 13 yrs, and the person that says it to us doesn’t frequent us, so….

  16. Servelan

    11 September

    Pemco Insurance of Seattle has a commercial about ‘too long coffee order guy’ as one of the local ‘types’ they cover, and here’s the order:

    “Make mine a triple venti grande Americano chai vanilla minty mochachino caramel macchiato, half-caf, half-decaf, one Equal, one Sweet’N’Low, one raw sugar, skinny organic extra virgin olive oil soy breve with no foam, extra whip, extra hot and — oh, yes, leave off the top so I can add my own sprinkles.”

  17. Bitter

    10 September

    what about those half caff, non-fat, extra hot, half sweet vanilla lattes…..

    or any non-fat decaf milk drinks….

  18. FoxConfessor

    10 September

    So is the “free trade” order intentional, or did you mean for it to be “fair trade”?

  19. BethanyH

    6 September

    I’m pretty sure that I would have poured the fanciest tuletta possible and if they complained be like “Oh I’m so sorry it was an accident I can’t help it.”
    Because that’s the most irritating request I’ve ever heard in my entire life.

  20. mykey coffee

    6 September

    That’s hilarious, but I think you spelled expresso wrong

  21. namePeterB

    5 September

    I’d have said excuse me but we only serve great coffee here, if you want anything else go to Starbucks!

  22. PeterB

    5 September

    Boyfriends a real tool then

  23. Rapolas

    4 September

    How about an extra large, extra hot, extra dry triple decaf, soy mocha.
    The most ridiculous drink I ever made.

  24. Belch

    4 September

    A bitter barista generator would be funny.

  25. john

    4 September

    isn’t this just bitter barista but coming from sprudge??

  26. Josh

    4 September

    I once poured a heart or something on top of a ladies drink. When her boyfriend saw it he came up to me and ask for “no design”. I told him its just the way you pour the milk and he was very adamant. “No design !” His girlfriend said he was too manly for designs. Worst order ever!