In late 2025, the American packaged comestibles and grocery brand Trader Joe’s introduced a new product that caught our editorial eye. It’s called “2 Affogatos”: a pre-packaged box containing, you guessed it, not one but two servings of affogato, the delightful traditional coffee and ice cream treat. In the hand of Trader Joe, the affogato is comprised of a vanilla non-dairy frozen dessert (it legally cannot be called ice cream) and a packet of instant coffee.
We considered, albeit briefly, simply writing about the product as a theoretical concern. “Is it any good? Would you try it?” and so forth. The Trader Joe’s product launch page and attendant press release certainly offered some fabulous copy to draw from:
Only a language as beautiful as Italian could make the word “drowned” so euphonious as “affogato.” Because “drowned” is what “affogato” literally translates to—an evocative reference to the act of pouring hot coffee over a scoop of cold ice cream. A gem of gelato shops the world over, we love the way an affogato mixes flavors, textures, and temperatures. So, when our buyers found this instant Affogato, we instantly knew we had to bring it to our freezers.
But after a period of reflection and contemplation it was determined that this would be an affront to coffee journalism. Simply writing about the product as a thing that exists would fail to do the Trader Joe’s affogato justice. Instead, the correct path forward would be to sample the product, to document the process, and to arrive at a learned conclusion as to the merits of 2 Affogatos.
I regret to inform you now that this was an unwaveringly disappointing experience for all involved.
At $4.49 for two cups of 2 Affogatos, there’s certainly a bargain afoot. How, exactly, Trader Joe’s keeps prices so low on these and other products has been the subject of considerable inquiry. (I wholeheartedly recommend you read this Taste story on the subject.) The nutrition panel serving suggestion is for both cups (!), but if you enjoy just one you’ll get 14 grams of sugar, 18 grams of carbs, 7 grams of fat (6 of which are saturated, due to the coconut non-dairy), and just 140 calories. That’s less calories than a can of Dr. Pepper, if you’re counting! The product is made in Thailand; there is no information offered as to the provenance or typicity of the coffee involved.
2 Affogatos comes with the following set of instructions:
All you need to do to enjoy your very own Affogato is open up a cup, pour the contents of the instant coffee into the little well that’s already been made within the Non Dairy Dessert, then follow that up with an ounce of hot water. All at once, that iconic interplay of hot & cold and sweet & bold will unfold before your very eyes, and you’ll be ready to enjoy. We recommend it as an after-dinner treat, an afternoon indulgence, or as an anytime pick-me-up. Divertiti!
The box itself shakes like a maraca, or perhaps a caxixi. Inside of each carton, which evoke the mini-mart or skating rink fruit punch paper cups of childhood, can be found a tiny placket of instant coffee, which is labeled simply “Instant Coffee.” Its wrapper is silver, and it looks like it might have contained a breath mint in another life.
Before combining the coffee and not-legally-iced-cream together, we thought it might be fun to cup the coffee on its own. With trusty cupping spoons we did slurp the viscous, syrupy substance, which yielded notes of rubber, wet ashtray, and battery acid. It was an entirely acrid, bitter, and notably sour experience. It has been opined by some during the expansionist era of the third wave movement that there is no such thing as “bad coffee.” To those who would proffer this opinion, we invite you to cup this yourselves.
Now on to the frozen non-dairy treat. It looked pleasant enough—note the invitingly concave brew-hole—and offered a pleasantly muted coconut flavor. Upon additional bites we commented on the chewy-gummy texture of the whole affair, in which one could plainly taste the agar-agar, the gum of guar, and the carob bean. Non-dairy ice cream can actually be incredibly delicious, but not always, it turns out.
We added the brewing packet to the ice cream, brewed to spec, and dove in to properly taste the final finished concoction.
Where’s the crema? Where’s the depth? The coconutty flavor of the not-iced-cream faltered beneath the saggy sourness of the dreadful instant coffee. “This is worse than a Nespresso affogato,” my collaborator declared, a statement to which I must agree without reservation.
There’s so much blame to go around. To the influencers on TikTok and elsewhere who claimed this product was good, and to Trader Joe himself, we must say shame. The Trader Joe’s affogato isn’t just bad: it is awful. It’s worse than I thought it was going to be. I’d rather eat the ice cream at Starbucks.
Jordan Michelman (@suitcasewine) is a co-founder and editor at Sprudge Media Network. Read more Jordan Michelman on Sprudge.
