In todayโ€™s edition of Is This A Thing I Should Think Is Cool?, 7-Eleven has announced the release of Fizzics, their new line of sparkling cold brew. But thatโ€™s not what is questionably cool (sparkling cold brew is objectively cool. Donโ€™t @ me), it’s the can in which it is served. According to an article in The Takeout, cans of Fizzics Sparkling Cold Brew Coffee are self-chilling. Cool?

According to The Takeoutโ€™s Kate Bernotโ€”who called me out by name in her Stircle article, not that I even care or am holding a grudge or whateverโ€”the cans for the new ready-to-drink coffee beverage were developed by The Joseph Company International, whose previous attempt at a self-chilling can got squashed after the refrigerant used โ€œcaused concerns over its potential to speed global warming,โ€ which sounds like some sort of Faustian equal exchange. โ€œSure, we can chill your drink, but itโ€™s gonna heat up the planet. Bet youโ€™re happy you have the now-cold drink, huh?โ€

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But now, some 25 years in the making, the self-chilling can comes without worries of ripping a new hole in the ozone layer. To chill the 8.4 ounce can, one simply has to turn a knob at the bottom of the can, which then releases CO2 into the beverage and is said to cool the drink by 30 degrees over the course of a minute and a half. Is it cool yet?

Fizzics Sparkling Cold Brew Coffee is currently being rolled out to 15 7-Eleven stores in the L.A. area, but as the article notes, given that they spent a quarter-century and god knows how much money developing the self-chilling can (solving a problem that didnโ€™t really exist), โ€œexpectโ€ฆ a much wider rollout in the future.โ€

So the question remains: should I think the self-chilling can is cool? I feel like maybe I should, but I kinda donโ€™t. But a new question has arisen thanks to this now-two-sided now-feud with my now-nemesis Kate Bernot: is a self-chilling can cooler than the Stircle? Now thatโ€™s a dilly of a pickle.

Zac Cadwaladerย is the news editor at Sprudge Media Network and a staff writer based in Dallas.ย Read more Zac Cadwaladerย on Sprudge.

*top image via The Joseph Company International

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