Quiz: Who Is Your Coffee Crush?

Love is in the air. Or is it pollen? Either way, we’re itchy eyed and rashy at the possibility that year this we’ll finally find our true love. Sure there have been others in the past that we thought could have turned into something; a random hookup with @coldbrew420 here and the occasional late-night message from an Antipodean heartthrob there (only to later find out it’s actually 10:00am their time and this was a business call), but even then, deep down we knew they wouldn’t last. Some things are just meant to burn brightly and fade away.

But now we’re older and wiser, and we’re really ready to commit. We’re not just some young pup out there cycling through yet another coffee company in their weekly-changing eight account multi-roaster program. No! We’re looking for THE ONE, the roaster with the perfect espresso blend to our heart.

And we know some of your are right there with us, while others, well, you’re keeping your cafe options very “open concept.” Either way, your friends at Sprudge are here to help. Let us yenta your Yirgacheffe by taking this quiz and finding your perfect coffee crush. We’ve cross-referenced our extensive knowledge Grindr and FarmersOnly.com—neither of which are as coffee related as they may seem—with a coupla ten coffee subscription services and just a dash of the Sprudge special sauce to create the most accurate love test to date. Given the extreme accuracy, please only take this quiz if you are ready to know who is without question going to be your next (and maybe last?) coffee relationship.

What is your favorite city?
Tokyo
Milan
Seattle
Melbourne
Cairo

Correct!

Wrong!

What your favorite Valentine's Day candy?
Conversation hearts
Whitman's Sampler Box
Reeses in a heart shaped box
Hershey's Kisses

Correct!

Wrong!

Who was the last person you texted with?
Parent and/or guardian
Loved one
Friend or well-wisher
Somebody work related

Correct!

Wrong!

What's your ideal romantic date destination?
A dark bar
A picnic in a well-lit park
The beach!
Olive Garden

Correct!

Wrong!

Who runs the world?
Girls
A secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world, known as The Pentaverate
The Clintons
Powerful countries including the United States, China, and India—although they have less administrative influence than one might think, while small but rich democracies such as Finland and New Zealand are overrepresented.

Correct!

Wrong!

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