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Gold-Flecked Brexit Wine For Assholes Has Arrived

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The EU has agreed to extend the Brexit deadline until January 31, 2020, but it’s a fait accompli now following Boris Johnson and the Tories’ landslide victory earlier in December. French retailer Gold Emotion is already prepared to pop a few bottles in celebration of the divisive move. Brexit Sparkling Wine “for those who wish to celebrate Brexit” is now apparently a thing, and it’s chock-full of an ingredient widely known for its popularity among the wine indulgant set. No, not cocaine: 24 karat gold.

Created by artist, gold leaf specialist, and former president of the national union of gilders Jean-Christophe, Gold Emotion’s mission is to pack as much of the element into their bespoke luxury products as possible, including golden cigars, gold-flecked candles, and an “I Love Gold” perfume for women. In their own words, “It is the perfect metal.”

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Found in their online shop for “Brexit Day Celebration,” the limited-edition Brexit Sparkling Wines feature a Union Jack and the words “BREXIT, WE MADE HISTORY.” Each bottle’s facade is uniquely numbered and etched in, you guess it, 24K gold.

We can only speculate as to how the metal within the wine affects the overall taste—because we would never, ever pay money to drink this—but according to the Gold Emotion website, “Gold is good for health and gives only benefits to your body.” That’s important now that the NHS is well and truly fucked.

For customers in Europe and the UK, Brexit Sparkling Wine is available in Chardonnay (£138/155€—or £595/670€ for a Jéroboam) and Pinot Noir rosé (£148/166€). No word yet on how the UK’s new import rules on wines from the EU would affect pricing.

Laura Jaye Cramer is a freelance writer based in California and has written for SF WeeklyGOOD, and PAPER MagazineRead more Laura Jaye Cramer for Sprudge Wine.

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