When it comes to rock bands and coffee, there is no shortage of crossovers. Metallicaโs Kirk Hammett had his own blend with Dark Matter Coffee. Korn, Green Day, Mastadon, Judas Priest, Aerosmith, all have had some special branded coffee collab over the years. This is not to mention Between the Buried and Me’s virtuosic-guitarist-turned-actual-coffee-roaster Paul Waggoner and Nightflyer Roastworks. And now emo pop is taking a turn with Coheed and Cambria Coffee Roasters, announced earlier this week via press release.
But before we go any further, if we are gonna talk about Coheed, letโs talk about Coheed. In their PR blast about the coffee brand, the group refers to themselves as a โmodern progressive rock band,โ in the past touting their โconcept careerโ with each of their albums continuing the same story as a sort of proof. Now, Iโm a fan of progโI actually like later Mars Volta, Iโll fight anyone who doesnโt think John McLaughlinโs Extrapolation is the best iteration of the fusion-as-arena-rock era, and Iโve been known to sit in my car after arriving at my destination to listen to the last five minutes of whatever Lateralus song Tool is going on aboutโmy obnoxiously over-indulgent, grandiose rock bona fides arenโt in question here, ok? But Coheed? Thatโs not prog. An incoherent movie with a 10-hour run time isnโt better or more impressive than a 2-hour one, itโs worse in fact. And occasionally busting out an 80โs noodly solo ainโt it either. Coheed is a rock-tinged sci-fi version of Panic! At The Disco. Which isnโt a slight; A Fever You Canโt Sweat Out is a great pop record. It is what it is, but it ainโt prog. /rant
So anyway, coffee. For their new roasting company, the members of Coheed and Cambria teamed up with Los Angelesโs J Gursey Coffee Roasters to create two initial offerings: The Knowledge and The Beast, both references to characters in their Armory Wars storyline. Per the press release, The Knowledge โis a smooth delicate blend of light and dark roasted coffees from the African/Ethiopian/South American regions, while The Beast is โโCoffee with a bite.โ The robust medium/dark roast with a kick of espresso comes from the regions of African/Papa New Guinea/South America and Central America, and is cloud roasted at a 460ยฐ Fahrenheit drop temp.โ
Not exactly sure what โa kick of espressoโ means, but including the drop temp is pretty sharp. Interestingly enough, The Knowledge, again a blend of light and dark roasted coffee, has a drop temp of 465ยฐ, higher than their dark roast, so do with that information what you will.
12-ounce bags of the two Coheed coffees are available for purchase for $19.99 on their official website, along with a variety of logoed coffee cups, travel mugs, even a pour-over device.ย And now, please enjoy this very definitive list of other aughts-era emo bands we here at Sprudge feel should go the coffee branding route in 2021.
Guat The Drive-In
…And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Lattes Dying On The Bar
Murder Full City Devils
Americano Football
Topo Is The Reason
Sunny Day Smallholder Estate
Jimmy Dimitrov Eat World
Marco Jets To Brazil
My Maillard Romance
Zac Cadwaladerย is the managing editor at Sprudge Media Network and a staff writer based in Dallas.ย Read more Zac Cadwaladerย on Sprudge.