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Based on the headline alone (“Caffeine buzz: The 10 best cruise ship coffee bars“)ย we are to assume thatย USA Today, America’s foremost paper for American Americans, had tasked a reporter to research and visit theย fifty-three operational cruise lines in the world and figure out the ten very best cruise ship coffee bars.

The Queen Of Cruising: Fran Golden (image via ActiveTravel.com)
The Queen Of Cruising: Fran Golden (image via ActiveTravel.com)

A tall order, USA Today. Butย Fran Golden was up to the task.ย Golden is by all accounts a cruise ship expert, with just under twenty-five years of cruising and travel writing under her belt.ย Frommerโ€™s Alaska Cruises & Ports of Call and the first editions of Idiotโ€™s Guide to Cruise Vacations, Cruise Vacations for Dummies, and Frommerโ€™sย Europe Cruises & Ports of Callย were all penned by the Queen of Cruising, Fran Golden. What could have been a David Foster Wallace-esque exercise in groans, footnotes, and ennuiย is instead a delightful rundown of what’s being served on the top cruising lines.

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Cappuccino and canoli on the high seas at Carlos Bakery (TV's Cake Boss) on Norwegian cruise liners. (USA Today)
Cappuccino and cannoli on the high seas at Carlos Bake Shop (TV’s Cake Boss) on Norwegian cruise liners. (USA Today)

Norwegian,ย Royal Caribbean,ย Oceania,ย Disney Cruise Line,ย Costa,ย Princess,ย Holland America,ย MSC Cruises, andย Carnivalย made the cut. The selection seems to be dictated by atmosphere and activities (Norwegian’s cruise shipsย Norwegian Breakawayย andย Getawayย have coffee bars that feature game shows and concerts) rather than the quality of the coffee. Of the ten, only big-name and internationally recognized brands likeย Segafredo,ย Lavazza, illy, Starbucks, and Starbucks’ย Torrefazione Italia were mentioned.

Here’s a clip from the list:

Holland America:ย Starbucks brand Torrefazione Italia is the featured brew in the Explorations Cafรฉ on Holland America ships. Take your coffee over to the cushy, ocean-facing lounge chairs where you can peruse reading materials including top magazines and printouts of The New York Times.

MSC Cruises:ย This Italian-style cruise line doesn’t mess around when it comes to coffee. At the Segafredo Coffee Bar on theย MSC Divina, cruising from Miami, the featured coffee is Italian brand Segafredo. Enjoy your espresso at a cafรฉ table or from a small plastic cup at the counter. Just don’t ask for skim milk in your latte โ€” such requests make the barista frown.

Carnival:ย Carnival is new to the coffee bar scene with Java Blue on theย Carnival Sunshineย โ€” a brightly lit counter with table seating. The menu includes your typical lattes and such as well as creative spiked coffee drinks โ€” enhanced with rum or vodka.

Fran Golden’s report begs the question: who will be the first boutique brand to take to the high seas? In a world where you can go cruising with Weezer, Cat Power, and Ozma, can a high-end coffee bar be far behind?

(Top image via NY Daily News)ย 

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