My relationship with coffee is a complicated thing. I will drink literally whatever coffee is put in front of me without so much as a guffaw, and often, it is the “bad” coffees—at the diner or the airport or on some outdoor adventure or another—that ends up being the best. I’m all for making coffee with no scale, just vibes. And yet, when I make coffee for myself, the nonsense level is through the roof. Gadgets, mists, timers, multiple scales, more water chemistry than I care to mention, it’s all of the utmost necessity to repeatably produce my morning cup of medium-decent coffee.

There’s not a single new piece of gear that I don’t need that I don’t desperately need more than anything else I’ve ever needed in the life before. Thus is the case with the new DiFluid Omni. The multi-functional tool combines roast level analysis and particle grind size measuring into a compact countertop package.

Making the rounds at the global coffee conferences—most recently Host Milan and the Specialty Coffee Association of Japan’s event before that—DiFluid has been developing a groundswell of buzz around the Omni. Created to “help the coffee industry improve quality and meet consumers’ demand for high-quality coffee,” the Omni is a bit of a one-stop shop for post-roast analysis. It uses high-powered “2D near-infrared imaging” and “multi-band data fusion” to quickly and accurately assess a coffee’s roast level, within the range of ±0.1 Agtron, needing only 3g of grounds to do so. And it is able to recognize and disregard “noise” like chaff that could otherwise alter the reading. As a particle size analyzer, the Omni uses “fully-automated vibration” and multiple samplings to determine and provide a visual breakdown of size distribution.

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And of course, all data can be collected, displayed, and saved via a Bluetooth-enabled smartphone app. Currently on pre-order for $899, all Omni units will begin shipping out between November 1st and 13th.

Though this is really meant for commercial use, the Omni’s small footprint and overall clean design is sure to make it coveted among the dorkier of the coffee folks out there, myself included, much to my chagrin. And let’s be real, the worst coffee person you know—the one who thinks that roast must be “off”—is definitely going to want this thing. Imagine strolling into a coffee shop with one of these doohickeys, the horror, the horror. $900 is a small price to pay for such chicanery.

For more information or to order your own Omni, visit DiFluid’s official website.

Zac Cadwalader is the managing editor at Sprudge Media Network and a staff writer based in Dallas. Read more Zac Cadwalader on Sprudge.