They're creepy – they're icky – they're ooky – they're Junior College students. And now two of them are filing a lawsuit against a vending manufacturer for not properly Orkin Man'ing their bug-infested coffee machine. Some students at a Joliet Junior College were simply trying to have a quick cup between classes last summer when eeeew! gross! Cockroaches were found all up in their auto-brew. The lawsuit also includes an additional defendant who was a janitor at the college.
The suit was filed Tuesday in Will County against Hometown Suburban Vending and seeks $50,000 in damages for each complainant.
Bobbi Smith, who was a student at the time, and Gary Broyles, an employee, say they bought coffee from a college cafeteria vending machine on July 26. After taking a first sip, both saw roaches in their coffee cups, the lawsuit states.
The same thing happened on Aug. 22, the lawsuit states, when JJC staff member Richard Anderson bought coffee from the machine in the cafeteria.
This just goes to show you – with the rise of automated Red Box style coffee machines popping up at grocery marts, and Briggo ruthlessly colonizing college campuses – it really takes a human touch to realize that a swarm of insects have invaded your coffee bar.
I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. May they make a home out of our steam pitchers, lay eggs in our burrs, and feast upon the crusted milk around our gaskets. There's only two things in this world that can survive a nuclear apocalypse: cockroaches and automatic coffee.