Summer just hasn’t been summer this year. What should be a time of outdoor revelry with friends, perhaps around a swimming pool, a cook out, or even at your favorite patio watering hole, has been anything but. Stripped of all the merriment, we’re just left the with the heat. This fucking heat, cruel and inescapable.
Luckily there’s one company brave enough to give you the summer refreshment you so desperately desire. Just imagine it: you’re laying poolside, sweat beads beginning to form on your brow. You grab a coldie out of the cooler, soaking in the refreshment with a gentle caress of your forehead with the ice-cold can, before popping that bad boy open and enjoying the crushable taste of… nitro cold brew, rum, and coffee liqueur.
As reported by Bevnet, the hero company in question is Kahlúa, the coffee liqueur maker who obviously knows what summertime plants crave. Along with an “espresso-style martini,” Kahlúa is ready to dip their toes in the ready-to-drink waters with the release of their boozed-up Nitro Cold Brew. Which makes sense. Now more than ever, this particular moment in human history is one that demands the freedom to drink creamy textured coffee rotgut anywhere and everywhere you find yourself, be it in your living room on the couch, in the kitchen, on your bed, in the shower, or even in your living room on the couch. Summer is a time for fun on the go, and Kahlúa’s ready-to-drink Nitro Cold Brew will be there with you every step of the way, no matter where you don’t go.
And Nitro Cold Brew is sessionable. Clocking in at a cool 4.5% ABV and 80 calories per can, you can drink, what, eight or nine of these suckers in the sweltering 100° heat no problem. [Ed. note: please don’t.] Hell, mix it with some heavy cream and BOOM! Summertime White Russian. Thirst. Quenched. [Again. Please don’t.]
So if you feel like the velvety texture and heavy mouthfeel of summer is passing you by, grab a few cases of Kahlúa Nitro Cold Brew and get the party started.
Zac Cadwalader is the managing editor at Sprudge Media Network and a staff writer based in Dallas. Read more Zac Cadwalader on Sprudge.
