Harvard University police are officially “taking a break” from investigating the coffee poisoning incident that sickened 6 Ivy Leaguers last summer. According a source inside the department, the pressures of running this sort of investigation proved too taxing for the detectives. From an unnamed source: “We’re just… taking a break. Harvard is the kind of place where you just, you can’t imagine the kind of pressure we feel on campus here. We’re gonna take some time off to go backpacking in Laos, volunteer for a Democratic non-profit, and generally just recharge our batteries before deciding on the next step. Sometimes you have to do what’s right for you.” The parents of Harvard University’s police department were unavailable for comment.
Last August, six people went to the hospital after drinking coffee spiked with sodium azide, a highly toxic lab preservative.
According to the Boston Herald, authorities said the case is no longer being investigated, though it will officially remain open.