Starbucks Losing The Global Name Game

Check out this damning letter sent to Starbucks Gossip, our planet’s leading insider Starbucks blog, over Howie & Co.’s contentious policy of attaching a first name for each drink. Giving out one’s name has proven to be terribly unpopular in the UK, which seems strange to us, frankly. For Yanks whose comedy education consisted largely of Monty Python, Mr. Bean, “Spaced”, “Black Books”, “Are You Being Served?”, etc etc, we always assumed you Brits were armed with a keen senses of humor/humour. Oh well:

Starbucks: May I have your name?
Me: I’d rather you not.
Starbucks: Oh, but I need it for the cup.
Me: I don’t think you need it.
Starbucks: Well, it’s Starbucks policy.
Me: It’s bad policy.
Starbucks: Well, can I have your initial?
Me: No.
Starbucks: Well, I need to put something on the cup.
Me: Why? Will you not serve me my coffee unless you write something on the cup?
Starbucks: Well, no.
Me: Then can I just have my coffee?
Starbucks: (looks left, looks right, oh shit there is no one to help me!) Okay.

This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be!

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