So you made the great schlepp to London. The international cabal of Money Exchange professionals took their cut, leaving you with more pence than pounds, and you’re hurting for a free pint and something a bit more substantial to eat than a pack of prawn cocktail crisps. Unfortunately, it seems that the “E” in SCAE stands for “expensive”. Here’s our exclusive look at how to sneak into the poshest parties at the WBC 2010:
Wednesday Night – SCAE Association Dinner and Awards
Cost – 117.50 (includes VAT)
Your Way In – this event is sponsored by Bunnomatic, and promises to be a night of ‘true British elegance that will leave you spellbound”. You clearly cannot afford to go. So here’s what we’ve come up with; the Crypt is a white-linen, black tie sort of place, and that means lots of staff. White coats, chef’s hats, nice slacks…well, you’ve got most of these already, and a bit of ingenuity with a purloined napkin could make for a fine chef’s hat indeed. Dress the part, waltz your way through the staff entrance, then have a seat at a table with the Icelandic delegation; their cultural morays prevent them from calling attention to your obvious fraudulence. And you’re in! Three courses and two martinis later, and we’ll see you at the fondue fountain! (The Crypt, Ely Place, Holborn Circus, London EC1N 6RY)
Thursday Night – An Evening At The Pub
Cost – 40 Pounds Sterling
Your Way In – 40 Quid is an awful lot for 4 pints and a Shepherd’s Pie. Sprudge thinks there’s a better way. 2 quid for a tourist’s mock Bobby hat, another quid and 50 pence for a fashionable fake moustache, and just a bit of confident tomfoolery, and you’ve found your way to fish and chip valhalla, my friend. The SCAE may not sanction your freebies, but surely The Waterside Pub won’t refuse a visit from the local constable. Threaten to levy some sort of fine if you aren’t served. PS, if you’re traveling in a pair, then a large overcoat and a bit of balance can be employed to make for an intimidating seven foot tall two-for-one Police inspector. (The Waterside, Riverside Tower, Fulham, London SW6 2UB)
Friday Night – Barista Party
Cost – 30 quid
Your Way In – This is THE PARTY to be at. Beg, borrow or steal your way into this event, even if it means committing acts that would shock the Queen. This one might actually be worth your 30 quid, although for our money, that price tag ought to buy you more than a finger buffet. (Louise Blouin Institute, 3 Olaf Street, London W11 4B3)
