The Saddest Espresso Hopper In The Entire World

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What you are about to see cannot be unseen. It is photographic evidence of something that should never happen - yet probably happens all the time. Something so shocking it has to be shown to the world. Something that, if used to prepare your morning coffee, would not only make for a crappy drink - it could make you violently ill. This is the … [Read more...]

Washington State: Hillbilly Hotties Coffee Stand Robbed By Gun-Toting Tween

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The American Pacific Northwest is home to a growing army of "bikini barista" stands, which are exactly what they sound like: drive-thru shacks, often brightly decorated, staffed by skimpily dressed female service staff. We won't get into the social and cultural implications of this phenomenon, other than to say that the coffee commonly served at … [Read more...]

The Monstrous Customer From Hell And The Dunkin’ Donuts Hero

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Here it is, the worst customer interaction in human history. 27 year-old Taylor Chapman is responsible for the video (and the profanity and racist remarks) and Abid Adar is the incredible Dunkin' Donuts employee that handles the whole eight minute ordeal with grace, humility, and outstanding professionalism. Watching this video is … [Read more...]

NYC: Oslo Coffee’s Bedford Location Burns To The Ground

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Oslo Coffee Roasters has confirmed that its Bedford location "burned to the ground" this morning. The cafe was Oslo's second cafe, situated in what is known as the "recreated southside" area, with a loyal fanbase that lined up for espressos from their San Marco Leva hand-pulled piston machine. Gothamist has the details on the tragedy: Fire … [Read more...]

HuffPost: “Will Energy Patches Replace Your Coffee Enema?”

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That's right folks. That's what Arianna Huffington's website wants to know. Or at least, that's the question that The Huffington Post's "Crime and Weird News" editor Andy Campbell has rhetorically imposed upon the world. We didn't make up that headline: It's Monday afternoon, and you're like us, so you've already taken 14 cups of coffee and a … [Read more...]

SHOCK: Portland Man Sells Human Poop Coffee On Craigslist

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The Indonesian palm civet. Thai elephants. Peruvian coati raccoons. And now, your next door neighbor? The cultural obsession with fecal coffee has taken a new and disturbing turn, as one Portland area man is apparently selling his own personal "kopi luwak style" coffee on Craigslist. Grown, harvested, and "processed" personally, this man will even … [Read more...]

Go Directly To Jail, Don’t Pass Spro: Dubai Jail Drops Java

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Yes friends, no matter what dumb headline we publish, the facts remain the same: Dubai prison guards have effectively locked inmates up and thrown away the coffee, and the prisoners are getting agitated. Gulf News has it all: Inmates at Dubai central jail are complaining about the ban of coffee in jail, sources told Gulf News. The ban, which … [Read more...]

Help The People Of Anaconda Find Their Fugitive Fecal Felon

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Stunning news out of the small hamlet of Anaconda, Montana. Back in July, someone allegedly urinated in a can of pre-ground coffee and smeared feces all over the coffee maker in the Anaconda / Deer Lodge County Courthouse. At the time, there was no immediate evacuation. The public servants of Anaconda have since been flushed and left in the dumps … [Read more...]

Ghoulish: Animal Abuse Coffee Continues – Now With Elephants

Elephant poop coffee is a thing.

In the world of exploiting animals for obscenely priced exotic coffees, elephants are le dernier cri! The Wall Street Journal has published this harrowing real-life frightmare of a report from Bangkok, where a rag-tag group of elephants are being force-fed coffee cherries for human profit. Much like the pointlessly abused civet cat, these poor … [Read more...]

Update: Missing Barista’s Body Found, Suspect In Custody

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Very sad news tonight. Whitney Heichel, a 21-year-old Oregon barista who went missing after driving to her early morning shift, has been found dead in a wooded area near Gresham, a suburb of Portland. Police have arrested Jonathan Holt of Gresham as a suspect in her murder. More from NWCN: Police say Holt was an acquaintaince who lived in the … [Read more...]