Your Latte Has A Goth Friend

Remember unicorn lattes? They had their colorful moment in the sun, but now darkness reigns. The new trend in hued espresso and milk drinks is called the goth latte and it’s pitch black.

Why it isn’t called the gotthe (pronounced gaw-thay) is beyond me. Anyway. According to Teen Vogue (actually the best website on the internet), the goth latte is made by adding activated charcoal to a regular old latte. Activated charcoal, in case you aren’t up to date on the latest health fads, is supposed to be good for you or something. It’s like, healthy or healthful maybe. Probably something to do with a cleanse or a detox if I had to guess.

But be forewarned, activated charcoal supposedly tastes like cement. If you don’t know what cement tastes like, stop lying. Of course you know what it tastes like. It’s not pleasant. And now you can get it in your coffee! So if you ever wanted to know what that latte you dropped tastes like, here you go.

Teen Vogue notes that the goth latte trend has remained primarily in the UK and Australia, and Instagram of course. That will surely change though. Pretty soon your local cold-pressed juice/bulletproof coffee/spirulina emporium will start activating your lattes.

And for those of you that don’t to drink charcoal in order to get a high contrast latte, I would suggest using one of those fancy black and white filters on all those photo-editing apps. That way, you can have a goth latte without tasting like you just had a heavy make out sesh with a curb.

What we’re saying is, the goth latte is like this penguin video:

 

Zac Cadwalader is the news editor at Sprudge Media Network.

*top image via Miko Coffee


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