Shtupping Shiksas? Switch To Sanka

According to researchers in the Netherlands, caffeine consumption has been found to be “responsible for more than one in 10 burst brain aneurysms”, along with sexual activity and blowing one’s nose.

Dr Monique Vlak, a neurologist and the study’s lead author, said: “All of the triggers induce a sudden and short increase in blood pressure, which seems a possible common cause for aneurysmal rupture.”

All that to say, this study seems to indicate that a combination of seasonal allergies, sexual activity and caffeine ingestion could create a “perfect storm” of stroke conditions, putting roughly 2/3rds of readers at imminent risk of aneurysm.  A word of advice: local honey from your favorite neighborhood apiarist does wonders for reducing negative pollen reactions.

The horror!


  1. Brendon

    9 May

    That other 1/3 is so lucky not to have allergies

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