There’s party wine and then there’s party wine. While most would choose to pick up a cool liter of agua for whatever theoretical bash is taking place, one New Zealand man took the term perhaps a touch too literally, allegedly attempting to smuggle liquid cocaine into the country via bottles of wine. He was of course arrested.
As reported by Stuff, 76-year-old Fritz Petersen, along with his 25-year-old accomplice Alyse Lorna Mary Wilson, was arrested in the Christchurch suburb of Redwood after 1.5kg of liquid cocaine was discovered inside wine bottles at the International Mail Centre in Auckland last month. The pair was charged with importing cocaine, a Class A controlled drug in New Zealand, with Petersen receiving an additional charge of possession for supply.
Per the article, how the customs agents were initially let on to the cocaine inside the wine bottles is unclear, but the discovery led to “Operation Vino,” a joint investigation with the local police. When the police arrested Petersen and search his Redwood home, they found “what they believed” to be powdered cocaine and “a significant amount of cash.”
Prior to the arrests, Petersen’s claim to fame—or perhaps infamy—was as the original proprietor of Peaches and Cream, New Zealand’s first sex shop opened nearly 30 years ago. More recently, the septuagenarian was described by neighbors as “very unassuming” and a “friendly enough bloke,” leading to the most just chef’s kiss quote on the topic: “You wouldn’t think someone of his vintage would be into that.”
Little is known about the wine in which the cocaine was imported, except that it came from Germany. While most would probably assume it is a Riesling or a Gewürztraminer, my gut tells me it was a Spätburgunder, which I think translates literally to “booger sugar” in German. Can we all just agree to stop trying to import cocaine via our favorite beverages? First it was that guy in Italy who tried to smuggling in cocaine from Colombia by stuffing it inside coffee beans, which is at least impressive in its tedium. Now this. Don’t bring wine and coffee into this, y’all.