Hchmlhigh! Hchmlhey! According to my calculations, there is an EXACT science to maximize one’s sensurrounditudinal enjoyment of carbon-infused demucilaged hydrogen/oxygenated beverages. You see, by taking my patented (AND patent-pending) formula, you can minimize the cellular interference and bi-ratiated vicissitude that may distract one from the heights of caffeinated phenomenology. Behold!
M = 0.5 x F + (0.5 x E + 0.3 x P + 0.15 x C + 0.05 x T.
Now, it’s back to the laboratory in mother’s basement, for another late night of the coffee and the formulas and the shrieking and the monkeys and hey hey hey!