This is Part Two of a two-part editorial. Read Part One here.
In yesterday’s New York Times, somewhere in the middle, comedian and noted nut-burger Jay Ruttenburg was given free reign to poop on boutique coffee culture and the writers who write about it. Reactions to his piece, Java Jive, have been mixed. Personally, we loved the whole thing. It was like reading a Portlandia treatment. Can’t you just see Carrie and Fred dressed up in something wacky, acting out lines from this giggle-worthy script?
Milk and sugar are available upon request, for those coffee enthusiasts under the age of 9. A deli three blocks over sells garish pink packets of artificial sweetener, for the ironical and/or sickly. And those who crave even crasser brands of sweetener should report immediately to their probation officers: there are minors residing in the vicinity.
That’s so true! Guilty as charged. We’ll make sure that the next time we stir in some Natvia, it’s well out of the view of anyone in sight! We’re busting a gut!
Naturally, it’s the coffee writers that are taking the most offense to his piece. “He didn’t do his research,” some say, “and he said mean things about farmers in Peru.” Some are calling for the New York Times to stop publishing parody all together, or event suggesting that Jay Ruttenberg should be banned from writing.
We think people who find his work offensive should maybe lay off on that fourth cup of Gaturiri. Our cultural blood pressure is a little too high – and if Java Jive irked you, you’re wound up too tight.