Thereโs a rule in fashion that you donโt wear white after Labor Day. The rule itself is based in elitismโit was a way for the wealthy class to distinguish themselves from the working class, who tended to wear darker clothes because dirt wouldnโt show as much while living โin the dirty cityโโbut it nonetheless has some utility; white doesnโt absorb as much heat, making it better summer wear. The rule has since become something less than a suggestion. Wear whatever you want, when you want.
But thereโs a corollary in the coffee space to the No White After Labor Day rule that has been repeatedly broken with complete disregard for any sense of decency, and frankly it needs to stop. There should be no Pumpkin Spicing before Labor Day.
Here we all are, August 18th, less than three weeks past the hottest month in recorded human historyโ100+ยฐ days arenโt done with us, not by a longshot. And yet today Dunkinโ is rolling out their fall menu, including pumpkin spice. Per the Boston Globe, the menu comes out one week sooner than it did in 2020, picking up the pace in the march toward year-round pumpkin spice ubiquity. Not to be left behind, Starbucks will be following suit just one week from today.
Itโs not just coffee. The trend to pumpkin spice literally anything continues here in the year of our lord 2021 with Cup Noodles releasing a pumpkin spice-flavored ramen.
And for what? Is pumpkin spice even trendy anymore? Don’t get me wrong, the blend of nutmeg, ginger, cinnamon, cloves, and sometimes allspice or mace is wonderful and warming. And I understand coffee companies like Starbucks and Dunkinโ continuing to offer the seasonal treat; thereโs something almost nostalgic about busting out the coat and beanie just a touch early, sipping on a 20 ounce PSL, pretending itโs a little colder outside than it actually is. But itโs still in the high 90s around here, and whoโs jonesing to try novel pumpkin spice food items anyway (other than Cozell Wilson)? Brands releasing pumpkin spice versions of their products at this point are like attempting to go #viral on MySpace or Vine. What are we even doing here?
Listen, we are living in truly strange times. The ceaselessness of the pandemic has already strained all credulity of the notion of time. Weโve been living in a perpetual Groundhog Day for how long I canโt even say, some multiversal sameness whereby we have experienced a thousand lives in the course of a day and only one day for the past 18 months. The only pin tethering us to finitude has been seasonality, and now we are losing even that. Why are we trying to ruin the fourth dimension when we havenโt even finished the first three?!
So please, keep the PSL out of the zeitgeist for a little while longer. Give us until Labor Day. Is that so much to ask?
Zac Cadwaladerย is the managing editor at Sprudge Media Network and a staff writer based in Dallas.ย Read more Zac Cadwaladerย on Sprudge.