9 Coffee Predictions For 2014

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Now it’s time for our annual predictions for the new year! Last year we predicted that Todd Carmichael’s Travel Channel series “Dangerous Grounds” would be developed into a full-length feature film; that Starbucks would release a $14 Caramel Gesha Frappuccino; that Terroir founder George Howell would take up a tantric approach to specialty coffee preparation; and that Sprudge.com would be purchased by Gawker Media Group for a tidy $69 million. None of these things happened.

Predictions for this year have deemed “much more likely” by our international tribunal of contributors.

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9. Kickstarter will open up a successful coffee-only crowd sourcing platform called “Brewstarter”, causing an avalanche of misguided new roaster/grinder/brew devices and reboots for gear we already own (but this time with Bluetooth 5 and a smart phone app). 

8. Twitter will continue to be a breeding ground for “Dropping A Prince“, a term we defined thusly: “A declarative statement used to critique an individual or entity’s behavior, thinly veiled as a directive for the general audience, though providing no details of the subject of critique.” For more, please consult the handy tutorial song embedded below.

 

7. The popular Tumblr blog “use the handle” will become its own coffee table book, sold exclusively at Urban Outfitters.

6. VSTApps and Google will join forces to make a MojoToGo Google Glass app that will be able to (just by sight) determine if a coffee has been extracted properly. 

5. After the January 1, 2014 legalization of recreational marijuana in Washington State, the Seattle Times will hire the author of acclaimed blog Spro and Dro to write its coffee/marijuana review column.

4. Oliver Strand‘s hotly awaited new book will have its film rights optioned by Universal Pictures. “I Can’t Strand The Micro-Lot Of You” will star Edward Norton as a high-strung journalist, with a script by Noah Baumbach. David O. Russell is attached to direct.

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3. 2014 will be the year of the multi-roaster multi-cafe cafe pop-up, in which three multi-roaster cafes will join forces and serve nine roasters on six different brew methods. This pop-up will feature twelve distinct artisan baked goods (and offer two separately curated toast bars).

2. The cat café phenomenon will reach its zenith with the first cat-shaped, cat-owned, US-based cat café collective. Sprudge will explode.

1. Chemex will finally roll out production on the Chemobile, with bio-diesel and electric versions available. 

 


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