8. We’ve all forgotten our drink at the bar.
7. And spilled our drink all over the condiment bar.
6. We’ve taken the wrong person’s drink.
5. Or that time we got up to the register and completely blanked on what we wanted (and who we were) …while on the phone.
4. But we were on hold with the bank because we lost our card (was it in that cab last night?) and we’d been on hold for an hour before realizing we had to go to work but first wanted coffee but we were still on hold but didn’t want to be that person on the cell phone but couldn’t help it.
3. So like, we had very little patience anyway, and all we wanted was a coffee, and we were running late and the barista was having a conversation and that’s totally cool because we’re not “that guy who doesn’t realize baristas are humans who talk to each other” but we were running super late already and we had that conference call with corporate and, yes, maybe we really should have just made coffee at home, but really maybe the barista should’ve just hurried the hell up already.
2. And then we realized we forgot our wallet.
1. And THEN, in our haste, we knocked over that child running loose in the cafe.
In short, we were monsters. Sometimes we do terrible things in cafes. But the key here is sometimes. Don’t be a monster all the time. Learn from your mistakes and maaaaybe make coffee at home more.